so very much this. i am so tired of "but what if the accusations are unfounded?" as an excuse to let every wandering asshole into our gatherings. unfounded accusations are a small small problem; people being attacked and abused is a huge problem. and what are the ramifications for the falsely accused person in our hypothetical situation? they didn't get to go to a party. what are the ramifications if the restraining order was in place for a darned good reason and it's ignored? which thing is worse?