(no subject)

[aroraborealis]

[Poll #746578]

Comments

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I'm interpreting "known" as "famous", and not as in "he like really KNOWS me, you know?"

[randysmith]

Of course, I want both fairly badly (where "known" == "He really knows me, you know?" :-}; fame is way down on the list). But "known" wins.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

I have to choose? :) I'd say it's better to be wanted because I am known, as in, I'd want to be really known and understood by people and then have them want to be around me/with me because of that.

[bhakti.livejournal.com]

Being wanted definitely has serious appeal (and I interpreted "wanted" as synonymous with "desired"), but ultimately, I tend to find being known (as in, being understood) more satifying.

Though of course, the best is being known and wanted by the same person/people...

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

I chose wanted because I *hope* it presupposes knowledge (as in the "he really knows me, y'know?" kind). I like it when people know me, and want me anyway. Want me around, at the very least.

My last therapist and I went through a lot of things that I have fears about... And I used to think that I was most afraid of being alone. Then I took a vacation alone--4 days with no access to people I knew. I mean, I could have made an overseas telephone call in an emergency, but no internet, no cellphone, etc. And I was fine. And I realized that I'm not afraid of being alone (unless we're talking stranded on desert island forever!) but of no one *wanting* to be with me. This has difficult ramifications sometimes because even perfectly legitimate times when people want to be with other people and not with me often hurt my feelings. Nothing really to be done about that, and slowly it's getting better. But, while I like, say, gestures that show that people really know me (picking up on a book that they think I'll like that I actually do; presents that I never would have thought of that I like a lot; phone calls on significant days that you would only know are significant if you're paying attention...etc.) I most like gestures that show that they like/want me around (calls just to say hi, showing up to invites, inviting me places, saying it's would be important/nice for me to be a certain place with them, saying they're glad to see me, dropping by to say hi {even though I don't always handle that well, 'cause I NEVER expect it and get flustered if I'm in my bathrobe etc.})

I figure, also, that being known is something that can grow with time; I can teach you about myself, as it were. But that you want me--this seems like a spontaneous upswelling in *you*, rather than something I can actually help out with.

Funny that you should post this today. These subjects (can you tell?) have been on my mind a lot recently.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.”
Catherine Aird

[psongster.livejournal.com]

What I really want is both, blended, of course.

If someone gets to know me well, and decides on the basis of that knowledge that they don't want to be around me -- well, that hurts, potentially a lot.

But if someone wants to be around me but shows little or no interest in who I am, that's worse. It can go on and on and on, and can interfere with my ability to enjoy being alone or with other people.

So, given the forced choice, 'tis better to be known. But I'd prefer both to be dancing together.

[dilletante.livejournal.com]

who is it that's wanted, if you aren't known?

[youvebeenpixied.livejournal.com]

Completely not related to your poll, but I just added you :) This is Brandie of Bart and Brandie...though once in a while it is Bart, too. But right now, it is Brandie. Hiya!

[dpolicar]

To a first approximation, my goal is always to be known.
Wanted is, of course, pleasant.
But being unwanted based on knowledge is workable on.
And being wanted based on ignorance is unreliable.