Now for my traditional nit-pick the questions comments:
Poll asking about HSV-1 oral or genital? What about HSV-2 oral? Does it matter (to anyone) whether someone is having an outbreak? (substantially more contagious)
I tend not to even think about it before kissing. I haven't been tested for it, I don't know if I have it, and it's my understanding that that is the norm. Odds are that I do, same as most other folks, but I just don't really know. If I were worried, I'd ask. If someone else is worried, I hope they'd ask.
I was last time I was tested for them, although the health professional assured me that there was no point, almost everyone comes back positive and we don't have a good idea of what that means.
i'm going to assume that when you say "hsv-1" you mean "oral hsv". there are actually at least seven identified viral subtypes (melebeth was going to write something about this at some point?) with various degrees of cross-site infections and/or shared immunities.
i filled out the above in terms of "when i don't think i'm prodromal and have no sores", which is most of the time. when i feel the slightest tingle i freak out and get abreva and valtrex and don't want to be around anyone. it used to be even more of a big deal; i've actually mellowed about it rather over the years.
This. I will inform and avoid kissing while having an outbreak or something that I think might be an outbreak. I've been known to inform if I'm feeling extra paranoid when no outbreak suspected, but it's not my usual pattern.
I was last time I was tested for them, although the health professional assured me that there was no point, almost everyone comes back positive and we don't have a good idea of what that means.
Not that you asked me, but I suggest that you not have genital contact during an outbreak even with barriers. I understand raging horniness, but it can wait a few days, can't it?
You're right; I should have just said "oral cold sores", which is what I actually meant, and I should have clarified that I meant not during an outbreak.
I don't go out of my way to inform anyone of this unless I am having, or about to have, an outbreak (and yes, I can feel when one is coming on), although am open about it generally. In that case, I say something like "I have a cold sore coming on, let's not share that drink", or to a lover, "I have a cold sore coming on, proceed at your own risk", and feel perfectly okay with being told s/he doesn't want to kiss/fuck/suck/share food things with me until it's passed.
I think my relaxed nature about HSV-1 comes from having had it for SO long, years before I understood that it was an STI, and rather just this slightly inconvenient thing I picked up from my sister, who picked it up from a water fountain at school (or so the story goes).
That's what I gathered and my answers reflected that if by "not during an outbreak" you also include the prodromal phase or anything I might interpret as indicative of being contagious.
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