How soon can I schedule that surgery?

[aroraborealis]

I love kids. There are days I spend with kids that are just wonderful on every level. The kid/s is/are charming, sweet, cute, wonderful and all-around heart-warming and adorable. There are days I spend with kids that they remind me why I don't want any of my own. Somehow, this makes for an excellent balance, other than the occassional exhausting and/or frustrating day.

I have a terribly difficult time spending time with kids in conflict with each other. It just makes me want to grab them by the shoulders and shake their heads off, which is fairly well counterproductive, and certainly wouldn't teach the lesson of nonviolent resolution of conflict.

I think I need to spend more time with friends who don't have or want kids. It's a unique perspective on the world, and one that's hard to share with people who have kids or who know they want them. There's a definite tendancy on most people's part to assume that either you like kids and want your own, or you hate kids and don't want anything to do with any kid, ever. So I get the look of shock that I don't want any fairly often. It's flattering that people think I'd be a good parent, but sometimes it gets a little old that people express what a shame it is that I won't have kids because of it. And there's a definite inclination, especially among the already en-kidded, to act like having kids is the one important thing someone can do with hir life.

Almost everyone I spend time with these days has kids, and the rest of the people I spend time with PLAN to have kids, and I think I could use a touch of balance in life perspective. Hmmm...

Comments

[gingicat]

You could always tell people that you enjoy being an aunt, and you like to be able to give the kids *back*. Not everyone who enjoys being with children enjoys being with them 24/7, including some people who *are* parents.

[gosling.livejournal.com]

It was *so* validating to read this. :-)

I too, am someone who loves kids, but I am getting more and more adamant that I do *not* necessarily want my own. (I still have some ambivalence over this, but less so over time.) Perhaps especially because I've worked with kids my whole adult life, people tend to automatically assume I will want kids. (And I Chip and I are getting *a lot* of pressure from his parents.) These days I tend to say something like "that doesn't mean I want to bring my work home."

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

*laugh* True on all counts. I typically do say that the aunt role is my preferred one, but it can be tiresome to deal with the assumption/attitude, even though I don't really think anyone means to be rude or inconsiderate about it -- it's just a matter of what's at the center of different people's lives/thoughts, I think.

Yay!

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Exactly! See, this is why I need to hang out with more people in similar boats! :)