Confessional!
Sep. 8th, 2020 11:20 amI'm excited to announce a confessional hosted by the inimitable ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
coraline. Please visit here to participate!
coraline. Please visit here to participate!
The end of the confessional
Feb. 16th, 2020 12:04 amHey friends!
Astute readers will notice that I didn't kick off a confessional post yesterday. Although I hadn't really made a conscious decision about this one way or another, I now realize that last year's was the last one for me. Sorry I didn't realize this earlier so someone else who wanted to host one on the traditional day could do so. But! Please feel free to take the idea and run with it. I've super enjoyed these over the years and I appreciate everyone who has participated and helped to make them a really special and unique shared experience. I'll probably have a longer post later with more musings but this is it for now.
Astute readers will notice that I didn't kick off a confessional post yesterday. Although I hadn't really made a conscious decision about this one way or another, I now realize that last year's was the last one for me. Sorry I didn't realize this earlier so someone else who wanted to host one on the traditional day could do so. But! Please feel free to take the idea and run with it. I've super enjoyed these over the years and I appreciate everyone who has participated and helped to make them a really special and unique shared experience. I'll probably have a longer post later with more musings but this is it for now.
Confessional 2019
Feb. 14th, 2019 04:11 pm2019?? That sounds like an imaginary year. But here we are! It's time once again for the annual confessional:
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-so-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Ask about personal habits you've always wondered if you're weird about! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Share your best self-care for the political climate! Do it anonymously or with your name attached*; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.
You know you want to!
[Please note ground rules here.]
A note on user experience: When starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.
*I encourage you to default to anonymous comments unless there's special value in being identified with your comment.
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-so-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Ask about personal habits you've always wondered if you're weird about! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Share your best self-care for the political climate! Do it anonymously or with your name attached*; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.
You know you want to!
[Please note ground rules here.]
A note on user experience: When starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.
*I encourage you to default to anonymous comments unless there's special value in being identified with your comment.
Kitty died
Jul. 22nd, 2018 09:30 pmThe day after my last post, Kitty developed a new unsteadiness throughout her body, which escalated noticeably in each 12 hour stretch, and she was losing interest in food at about the same rate. I arranged for the vet to come on Friday, trusting my gut that waiting until next week would be too long, took the day off, and spent one of the most perfect mornings of summer in the front yard with her.
She had been shortening our snuggle time recently, part of that drawing away I mentioned in the last post, but that morning, she let me give her a good belly rub, and she gave me lots of purrs, and it was super sweet. She had trouble eating even her treats, but had a few, and then staggered over to nap under the hostas.
Later, M came home, and we all sat in the yard together, but doing our own things. A few minutes before the vet was expected, Kitty came out, had a drink, and curled in the grass under my chair, resting her head on my ankle. M came over and had a little scritchfest with her, too. Soon after that, the vet arrived, we discussed, and then we agreed that it was the right time, all things considered.
It was exactly what I wanted for her: she was able to purr all the way until the sedation took full effect, after spending the perfect summer morning in the yard, and before her death was a struggle.
It was also exactly what I wanted for me: I gave her as good a death as I could, and I was able to recognize when it was time to make that choice. I was really afraid that I would miss that, or something emergent would appear, and she would die in pain, or confusion.
I went away for the weekend, which was a really good choice. I'm home now, and seeing little ghosts of her everywhere. It's bittersweet, but mostly sweet.
We had a very good life together, and I'm going to miss her a lot.
She had been shortening our snuggle time recently, part of that drawing away I mentioned in the last post, but that morning, she let me give her a good belly rub, and she gave me lots of purrs, and it was super sweet. She had trouble eating even her treats, but had a few, and then staggered over to nap under the hostas.
Later, M came home, and we all sat in the yard together, but doing our own things. A few minutes before the vet was expected, Kitty came out, had a drink, and curled in the grass under my chair, resting her head on my ankle. M came over and had a little scritchfest with her, too. Soon after that, the vet arrived, we discussed, and then we agreed that it was the right time, all things considered.
It was exactly what I wanted for her: she was able to purr all the way until the sedation took full effect, after spending the perfect summer morning in the yard, and before her death was a struggle.
It was also exactly what I wanted for me: I gave her as good a death as I could, and I was able to recognize when it was time to make that choice. I was really afraid that I would miss that, or something emergent would appear, and she would die in pain, or confusion.
I went away for the weekend, which was a really good choice. I'm home now, and seeing little ghosts of her everywhere. It's bittersweet, but mostly sweet.
We had a very good life together, and I'm going to miss her a lot.
More tidbits from meditation course
May. 11th, 2018 08:20 amNow that I'm a few days out from the end of the course, the pieces of the experience are coming a bit more to rest in my mind.
Going in, I had been thinking to myself that I usually spend about 10 days at Burning Man, so was mentally drawing a bit of a parallel, which turned out largely to be not particularly useful, except that: It's true, I can survive 10 days doing something that's uncomfortable, and even get good value out of it for myself. AND -- and this was super super helpful in the moment -- when I was having such a hard time on the first day of the retreat, I had a lightbulb moment from the miserable first days each trip to the playa: The first day always sucks. You're not settled in, yet, and it's a new routine, and everything's strange and discombobulated ... that was great.
Getting so familiar with the small walking loop right as spring was really developing a head of steam was magical. We could practically see the leaves unfurling in front of our eyes!
There was some magic to being safely ensconced in the privacy of my own mind, even though I was surrounded by people a lot of the time, and I discovered on Day 6 that a lot of my emotional shields had dissolved when I saw a bunny out the window, just sitting there, looking SO DARN CUTE that I just started crying -- not upset! Just, you know, full of emotion and it spilled out. And similarly, the morning of day 10, I went out for an early walk at dawn, which was one of the most breathtaking dawns I've seen, and just had tears streaming down my face for the beauty of it all. It was nice and interesting to have shed some emotional skin and be able to have more direct access to my inner world.
One day during one of the "strong determination" group sits, one of the other people in the room got the giggles. I could hear him trying (and increasingly failing) to hold it in, and I -- susceptible under any circumstances to contagious giggles -- was nearly done in, myself. The AT asked a course manager to encourage the person to leave the room to get himself together, which he did. I think it would have been pretty amazing to be in a meditation hall with 100+ people with the giggles, and that's something that, if this were MY meditation course, I would have let happen. It's still fun to imagine!
Going in, I had been thinking to myself that I usually spend about 10 days at Burning Man, so was mentally drawing a bit of a parallel, which turned out largely to be not particularly useful, except that: It's true, I can survive 10 days doing something that's uncomfortable, and even get good value out of it for myself. AND -- and this was super super helpful in the moment -- when I was having such a hard time on the first day of the retreat, I had a lightbulb moment from the miserable first days each trip to the playa: The first day always sucks. You're not settled in, yet, and it's a new routine, and everything's strange and discombobulated ... that was great.
Getting so familiar with the small walking loop right as spring was really developing a head of steam was magical. We could practically see the leaves unfurling in front of our eyes!
There was some magic to being safely ensconced in the privacy of my own mind, even though I was surrounded by people a lot of the time, and I discovered on Day 6 that a lot of my emotional shields had dissolved when I saw a bunny out the window, just sitting there, looking SO DARN CUTE that I just started crying -- not upset! Just, you know, full of emotion and it spilled out. And similarly, the morning of day 10, I went out for an early walk at dawn, which was one of the most breathtaking dawns I've seen, and just had tears streaming down my face for the beauty of it all. It was nice and interesting to have shed some emotional skin and be able to have more direct access to my inner world.
One day during one of the "strong determination" group sits, one of the other people in the room got the giggles. I could hear him trying (and increasingly failing) to hold it in, and I -- susceptible under any circumstances to contagious giggles -- was nearly done in, myself. The AT asked a course manager to encourage the person to leave the room to get himself together, which he did. I think it would have been pretty amazing to be in a meditation hall with 100+ people with the giggles, and that's something that, if this were MY meditation course, I would have let happen. It's still fun to imagine!
Vipassana Meditation Course
May. 8th, 2018 10:23 amI’m home from my time at a 10 Vipassana Meditation Course! THANK GOODNESS
( Overall )
( Quibbles )
Overall, I’m glad I took this course; I think it was beneficial in a few ways, and I bet that feeling will grow over time. I’m even more glad the course is over! I think I’m likely to look for another silent meditation course or retreat in the future, but from where I am right now, I can’t see the path that would be likely to bring me back to one of this network of centers to repeat this particular 10 day course.
( Details/logistics, for those curious: )
( Overall )
( Quibbles )
Overall, I’m glad I took this course; I think it was beneficial in a few ways, and I bet that feeling will grow over time. I’m even more glad the course is over! I think I’m likely to look for another silent meditation course or retreat in the future, but from where I am right now, I can’t see the path that would be likely to bring me back to one of this network of centers to repeat this particular 10 day course.
( Details/logistics, for those curious: )
Dhara Dhamma
Apr. 25th, 2018 08:23 amIn about half an hour, I'm headed out to western MA for a 10 day silent meditation course. I've been wanting to do one of these for a little more than a year, and now that the time has come, I'm a chaotic mix of excitement and terror. It's so unlike anything I've done before, the closer it comes, the more some of my internal voices are screaming "WTF ARE YOU DOING???"
I just keep reminding myself that I have historically enjoyed spending time with myself, and that curiosity can be a powerful force for good.
See you all in May!
I just keep reminding myself that I have historically enjoyed spending time with myself, and that curiosity can be a powerful force for good.
See you all in May!
something I like about my job
Apr. 16th, 2018 02:25 pmAs I've mentioned before, I'm not currently experiencing mad love for my work world, but I do really appreciate working for a place with a genuinely good culture. Not perfect, whatever that means, and I can certainly point to some things I'd like to be different, but! It's not toxic, and my colleagues are generally thoughtful and well-meaning, with low-ego and a real desire to be part of a team that works well together.
A red flag in any team I'm getting to know is any refrain about wanting or only hiring "A players". The longer my working experience gets, the more I know that pretty much everyone can be an A player in the right circumstance. Any leader who's all on about wanting A players is likely using that as code for "they fit my narrow definition of success".
I work with a lot of internal hiring managers to match new employees with their teams, and I consistently get feedback from them that amounts to: "This person is slow about the technical learnings, but I see them working hard and really incorporating feedback, so I don't mind" and it makes me feel good to be working with them the way I do.
It's easy these days to focus on the areas where I'm frustrated, but this isn't something I find just anywhere, and I really appreciate it every time it happens.
A red flag in any team I'm getting to know is any refrain about wanting or only hiring "A players". The longer my working experience gets, the more I know that pretty much everyone can be an A player in the right circumstance. Any leader who's all on about wanting A players is likely using that as code for "they fit my narrow definition of success".
I work with a lot of internal hiring managers to match new employees with their teams, and I consistently get feedback from them that amounts to: "This person is slow about the technical learnings, but I see them working hard and really incorporating feedback, so I don't mind" and it makes me feel good to be working with them the way I do.
It's easy these days to focus on the areas where I'm frustrated, but this isn't something I find just anywhere, and I really appreciate it every time it happens.
(no subject)
Apr. 8th, 2018 03:00 pmI'm in the midst of some small rearranging in my room. I've been doing enough small art projects that I want a place to do that to see if I do more if I have place that's better set up for it. And I rearranged some storage so that I now have an open corner where I think I'm going to put some cushions for a sort of bohemian lounge area. I'm excited! I haven't substantially reimagined my room since we moved in here on halloween in 2012 ... or, I've had lots of ideas, but this is the first time I'm actually making some changes.
mekHad a small desk taking up space that I'm trying out to see a) if I like it and b) if not, what I learn from it to help me decide what to replace it with. Having installed it, I see I also need a seating object. Oops. But still, I'm excited!
I remain disengaged with work, but I'm liking the little places in other parts of my life that I'm getting more traction. More of that, delightful self!
mekHad a small desk taking up space that I'm trying out to see a) if I like it and b) if not, what I learn from it to help me decide what to replace it with. Having installed it, I see I also need a seating object. Oops. But still, I'm excited!I remain disengaged with work, but I'm liking the little places in other parts of my life that I'm getting more traction. More of that, delightful self!
April 2 #wtwrites
Apr. 2nd, 2018 09:32 pmpoem prompt: write about a childhood secret you never told
Bubblegum
It’s bedtime and I’m hiding under the
bed so they can’t find me and
put me to bed.
I open the wrapper of another piece of bubble gum,
the sugary kind I’ve never been allowed to have before,
and I shove it into my mouth
already full of gum,
chewing stickily, the flavor,
delight and horror in the sweetness.
I chew and chew,
pretending it’s as good as I dreamed.
Bubblegum
It’s bedtime and I’m hiding under the
bed so they can’t find me and
put me to bed.
I open the wrapper of another piece of bubble gum,
the sugary kind I’ve never been allowed to have before,
and I shove it into my mouth
already full of gum,
chewing stickily, the flavor,
delight and horror in the sweetness.
I chew and chew,
pretending it’s as good as I dreamed.
Aspirations
Apr. 1st, 2018 10:07 pmTo reach for clear seeing, compassion, kindness.
To hold high expectations, balance, and care.
To do right by self as the foundation to do right by the world.
To say no when needed, and yes when an opportunity to help.
To do the right amount, and see it as a process not a destination.
To be generous, challenging, supportive, thoughtful, kind.
To empower rather than steer, when supporting others.
To speak clearly when it’s time to steer.
To let vulnerability and wisdom mark the path.
To integrate: head is body, heart is body, mind is body, self is body.
To grow softer, gentler, clearer, kinder, wiser.
To hold high expectations, balance, and care.
To do right by self as the foundation to do right by the world.
To say no when needed, and yes when an opportunity to help.
To do the right amount, and see it as a process not a destination.
To be generous, challenging, supportive, thoughtful, kind.
To empower rather than steer, when supporting others.
To speak clearly when it’s time to steer.
To let vulnerability and wisdom mark the path.
To integrate: head is body, heart is body, mind is body, self is body.
To grow softer, gentler, clearer, kinder, wiser.
At moominmolly's recommendation, I started watching the reboot of Queer Eye a week or so before my vacation, and I pretty rapidly inhaled all eight episodes of the first season. I never watched the original series, so I can't compare the two, but I was surprised and impressed with a lot of what the new series is doing, and in particular, the profound transformation -- not just in their personal styling or digs, but in their inner landscapes -- that some of the participants seemed to undergo through their time with the Fab5.
Not every episode is as inspiring and moving as the others, and I think they sequenced the episodes wrong for maximum emotional satisfaction and reward. The episodes as sequenced on Netflix are:
1 - You Can't Fix Ugly
2 - Saving Sasquach
3 - Dega Don't
4 - To Gay or Not Too Gay
5 - Camp Rules
6 - Renaisance of Remington
7 - Below Average Joe
8 - Hose Before Bros
I recommend watching them in this order: 1, 8, 3, 7, 2, 6, 5, 4. If you're only going to watch one episode, make it episode 4.
Which is to say, I think episodes 5 and 4 are the peak of the magic of the show. They maximize the opportunity of getting a handful of tuned in, compassionate experts to work with someone who is ready to and wants to making a meaningful change in his life but needs to guidance, structure, or other leverage to make it happen.
I'm not normally a reality TV watcher, but I'm really glad I watched this series, and I'm excited for the next season!
What have you been watching and enjoying recently?
moominmolly's recommendation, I started watching the reboot of Queer Eye a week or so before my vacation, and I pretty rapidly inhaled all eight episodes of the first season. I never watched the original series, so I can't compare the two, but I was surprised and impressed with a lot of what the new series is doing, and in particular, the profound transformation -- not just in their personal styling or digs, but in their inner landscapes -- that some of the participants seemed to undergo through their time with the Fab5.Not every episode is as inspiring and moving as the others, and I think they sequenced the episodes wrong for maximum emotional satisfaction and reward. The episodes as sequenced on Netflix are:
1 - You Can't Fix Ugly
2 - Saving Sasquach
3 - Dega Don't
4 - To Gay or Not Too Gay
5 - Camp Rules
6 - Renaisance of Remington
7 - Below Average Joe
8 - Hose Before Bros
I recommend watching them in this order: 1, 8, 3, 7, 2, 6, 5, 4. If you're only going to watch one episode, make it episode 4.
Which is to say, I think episodes 5 and 4 are the peak of the magic of the show. They maximize the opportunity of getting a handful of tuned in, compassionate experts to work with someone who is ready to and wants to making a meaningful change in his life but needs to guidance, structure, or other leverage to make it happen.
I'm not normally a reality TV watcher, but I'm really glad I watched this series, and I'm excited for the next season!
What have you been watching and enjoying recently?
In the most important parts of my life, I'm happy about my relationship with it, but work isn't lighting my fire recently, and I've been avoidantly disengaged and vaguely (sometimes not so vaguely) resentful. In addition, I'm having the late winter "blahs" in the background. This has me doing a lot of fantasizing about running away to open my beach bar or learn glassblowing or live in a VW bus for a year touring the country.
What are some of your escapist fantasies?
What are some of your escapist fantasies?
Mexico! The Vacationing
Mar. 12th, 2018 08:25 pmI've tried twice to write up a succinct description of my Mexico trip, and there is no way to sum it up without turning it into a wall of text that I just don't think is that interesting to read, but I don't have enough perspective on it to be able to pull out the important or salient points. Suffice it to say that we couldn't find the rental house the first night, and after looking for it for over an hour in the dark, we gave up and got an emergency hotel room, and that was only one of at least three things going wrong at the time. It was pretty stressful and non-vacationy feeling.
We did eventually find the house the next day, and we got a discount on two nights' stay, because the owner hadn't given us instructions on how to find it. And the day after that, my suitcase arrived and I finally had swimsuits and tropical-friendly clothing, which really improved my mood a lot.
The middle of the trip was killer. We visited several cenotes, which were as magical as I've imagined (cave snorkeling!!!) and some ruins, and a super chill beach restaurant serving (among other things) whole fried fish and micheladas.
The house was just gorgeous, and private and magical, with a deck just above treetop height, so we had a long view across the top of the mangrove swamp to the sunset each night.
I hated the Tulum beach stretch. On the scale of 0="this place is for locals" and 10="this place is for tourists", my vacation sweet spot is probably about a 4-5. I occasionally like a 1-2, but not for a chilling vacation, which is what this was. I'm happy to be able to venture out and find a cocktail or some good coffee, but I don't want all the local flavor to have been steamrolled by the capitalistic race to the most tourist-oriented comforts of "home". This is the first and only time I've been to a tropical beach and found not a single store selling colorful sundresses. Almost all the clothes for sale were earth toned upscale hippy clothing in linen for $300-600 an item for people half my size. I know so many people who love Tulum, and now that I've been there, I can comfortably say: huh???
But we were toured around by a super earnest and friendly young taxi driver, who put together a great introduction to the area for us, and was a great tour guide and general company, and so we really did have a great time during the week.
Also, I spoke more Spanish than I have in YEARS, and I got a bunch of really surprised reactions to my accent, which is evidently better than I realized: more than once, someone handed me the Spanish version of the menu thinking that Spanish was my first language on the basis of my accent. Gratifying!
Which is good, because getting home was another shitshow, with my flight getting delayed by 6 hours after a flight attendant had to be evacuated by ambulance to the hospital and we waiting for a new flight attendant to arrive from NY. Then we took off only to turn around 5 minutes later when the captain said there was "a problem with the ventilation system" and we landed back in Cancun ... where we then had to go BACK through customs, because there was no other plane for us, so we spent another night in Cancun, only it was actually an hour away from Cancun, because where else will you find enough rooms for a plane full of people on short notice on a Saturday night in Spring Break Season in Cancun?
It does make a pretty good story over drinks, and I actually do feel like I had a vacation, but as one of my travel companions said once we were all home: "I am glad [that trip] happened but goddamn if it didn't feel like a test I didn't know I was taking in a subject I haven't studied."
I'm really glad to be home.
We did eventually find the house the next day, and we got a discount on two nights' stay, because the owner hadn't given us instructions on how to find it. And the day after that, my suitcase arrived and I finally had swimsuits and tropical-friendly clothing, which really improved my mood a lot.
The middle of the trip was killer. We visited several cenotes, which were as magical as I've imagined (cave snorkeling!!!) and some ruins, and a super chill beach restaurant serving (among other things) whole fried fish and micheladas.
The house was just gorgeous, and private and magical, with a deck just above treetop height, so we had a long view across the top of the mangrove swamp to the sunset each night.
I hated the Tulum beach stretch. On the scale of 0="this place is for locals" and 10="this place is for tourists", my vacation sweet spot is probably about a 4-5. I occasionally like a 1-2, but not for a chilling vacation, which is what this was. I'm happy to be able to venture out and find a cocktail or some good coffee, but I don't want all the local flavor to have been steamrolled by the capitalistic race to the most tourist-oriented comforts of "home". This is the first and only time I've been to a tropical beach and found not a single store selling colorful sundresses. Almost all the clothes for sale were earth toned upscale hippy clothing in linen for $300-600 an item for people half my size. I know so many people who love Tulum, and now that I've been there, I can comfortably say: huh???
But we were toured around by a super earnest and friendly young taxi driver, who put together a great introduction to the area for us, and was a great tour guide and general company, and so we really did have a great time during the week.
Also, I spoke more Spanish than I have in YEARS, and I got a bunch of really surprised reactions to my accent, which is evidently better than I realized: more than once, someone handed me the Spanish version of the menu thinking that Spanish was my first language on the basis of my accent. Gratifying!
Which is good, because getting home was another shitshow, with my flight getting delayed by 6 hours after a flight attendant had to be evacuated by ambulance to the hospital and we waiting for a new flight attendant to arrive from NY. Then we took off only to turn around 5 minutes later when the captain said there was "a problem with the ventilation system" and we landed back in Cancun ... where we then had to go BACK through customs, because there was no other plane for us, so we spent another night in Cancun, only it was actually an hour away from Cancun, because where else will you find enough rooms for a plane full of people on short notice on a Saturday night in Spring Break Season in Cancun?
It does make a pretty good story over drinks, and I actually do feel like I had a vacation, but as one of my travel companions said once we were all home: "I am glad [that trip] happened but goddamn if it didn't feel like a test I didn't know I was taking in a subject I haven't studied."
I'm really glad to be home.
Tags:
¡Vacaciones!
Mar. 2nd, 2018 07:41 pmI left the office a little early in celebration of the first evening of a week of vacation! I'm so excited I'm all exclamation points! Plus some sleepiness and general yes, I really am ready for some vacation.
I'm mildly anxious about weather delays, but feeling hopeful. I have a pile of objects to put in a suitcase, and an evening of procrastinating doing that by getting my kitty snuggles on.
Then, it will be a week on a beach with margaritas and fish tacos. Hot damn! Mexico, here I come.
I'm mildly anxious about weather delays, but feeling hopeful. I have a pile of objects to put in a suitcase, and an evening of procrastinating doing that by getting my kitty snuggles on.
Then, it will be a week on a beach with margaritas and fish tacos. Hot damn! Mexico, here I come.
after the fesh
Mar. 1st, 2018 02:36 pmNow that the confessional is basically over, I'm returning to regular posts. I always forget how I basically forget about the rest of LJ (now DW) while the confessional is happening.
I found this year's fun, engaging, meaty, thoughtful, and so very middle aged -- slower, deeper, more philosophical as compared to the high speed effervescence of the early ones. I sort of miss that spritely sparkle, but I also appreciate where we are now, and I'm really glad I did it this year; I didn't expect to.
I think I did ok with moderating; I wasn't needed much, which is awfully nice, and there was only one thread where I wish I'd stepped in sooner, at least that I can think of right now. I think I will do a summer/fall one, too, because it IS a fun, special place, and if the pace stays more like the one we just did, that feels manageable. I couldn't realistically do that when the traffic was 10x.
I like humans. Some of 'em, anyway.
I found this year's fun, engaging, meaty, thoughtful, and so very middle aged -- slower, deeper, more philosophical as compared to the high speed effervescence of the early ones. I sort of miss that spritely sparkle, but I also appreciate where we are now, and I'm really glad I did it this year; I didn't expect to.
I think I did ok with moderating; I wasn't needed much, which is awfully nice, and there was only one thread where I wish I'd stepped in sooner, at least that I can think of right now. I think I will do a summer/fall one, too, because it IS a fun, special place, and if the pace stays more like the one we just did, that feels manageable. I couldn't realistically do that when the traffic was 10x.
I like humans. Some of 'em, anyway.
Confessional 2018
Feb. 14th, 2018 08:47 amWelcome to the first confessional hosted on dreamwidth!
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-so-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Ask about personal habits you've always wondered if you're weird about! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Share your best self-care for the political climate! Do it anonymously or with your name attached*; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.
You know you want to!
[Please note ground rules here.]
A note on user experience: When starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.
*I encourage you to default to anonymous comments unless there's special value in being identified with your comment.
Tell me a secret! Tell me a not-so-secret! Whisper sweet somethings in my comment box. Express your maddest crush or deepest curiosity! Ask about personal habits you've always wondered if you're weird about! Expound upon the fabulousness of your friends or lovers or would-be friends or lovers! Or people you know or want to know. Share your best self-care for the political climate! Do it anonymously or with your name attached*; anonymous commenting is on and IP logging is off.
You know you want to!
[Please note ground rules here.]
A note on user experience: When starting a new thread, if you give it a subject, it'll be easier to pick out comments in response to it down the road.
*I encourage you to default to anonymous comments unless there's special value in being identified with your comment.
My cat takes two medications each day, twice a day, in pill form.
It been like chasing the red queen to find ways to deliver it into her body without a giant fight, because I'm really not up for the poke it down her throat method.
I used to be able to use pill pockets, but then she bit through one when she was on a different extremely unpleasant tasting medication, and now she rejects all pill pockets completely. Her normal dailies aren't so flavorful, so for a while I was able to crush them and mix them with a tuna slurry, which is also good because she gets extra water.
But one of them is flavorful enough that over time, she's stopped being so into tuna, so she'll often leave about half of it still in the bowl, which is a real problem for dosing.
I can tuck the pills into a little slice in a chunk of chicken or steak when I have one of those, but I don't always.
Recently I've been packing a little tuna pocket around each pill, which worked pretty well for a couple of weeks, but she's cottoned onto that and started licking the tuna off, leaving the soggy pills on the floor.
Over the weekend, I got some ground beef to pack little meatballs around the pills, and that worked well a couple times, but then she figured out again to lick off the beef and leave the pills, again, in a tiny soggy pile.
SUPER ANNOYING
As of this evening, I've escalated once again by popping the tiny pill-stuffed meatballs onto the tip of a toothpick and toasting them over the gas flame on the stove, since cooked meat is more coherent.
It worked! But this leads to a few questions:
1. Am I really going to toast tiny meatballs twice a day for my cat??
2. How long will this work?
3. How do I explain this to pet sitters when I'm away???
4. What do you mean "crazy cat lady"?
It been like chasing the red queen to find ways to deliver it into her body without a giant fight, because I'm really not up for the poke it down her throat method.
I used to be able to use pill pockets, but then she bit through one when she was on a different extremely unpleasant tasting medication, and now she rejects all pill pockets completely. Her normal dailies aren't so flavorful, so for a while I was able to crush them and mix them with a tuna slurry, which is also good because she gets extra water.
But one of them is flavorful enough that over time, she's stopped being so into tuna, so she'll often leave about half of it still in the bowl, which is a real problem for dosing.
I can tuck the pills into a little slice in a chunk of chicken or steak when I have one of those, but I don't always.
Recently I've been packing a little tuna pocket around each pill, which worked pretty well for a couple of weeks, but she's cottoned onto that and started licking the tuna off, leaving the soggy pills on the floor.
Over the weekend, I got some ground beef to pack little meatballs around the pills, and that worked well a couple times, but then she figured out again to lick off the beef and leave the pills, again, in a tiny soggy pile.
SUPER ANNOYING
As of this evening, I've escalated once again by popping the tiny pill-stuffed meatballs onto the tip of a toothpick and toasting them over the gas flame on the stove, since cooked meat is more coherent.
It worked! But this leads to a few questions:
1. Am I really going to toast tiny meatballs twice a day for my cat??
2. How long will this work?
3. How do I explain this to pet sitters when I'm away???
4. What do you mean "crazy cat lady"?
(no subject)
Feb. 11th, 2018 09:54 pmI've been feeling extra swamped and short on time since the holidays, and attributing it to a few things. But this weekend, I stopped and did some math and discovered that I've worked over 50 hours in the last 5 weeks for the community organization I've gotten involved in. Well, no wonder I'm feeling a difference, given that!
I don't have any reason to think it's going to keep up at that pace -- January was unusual for the organization, and it took us all by surprise -- but if it does, I'm going to have to rethink my involvement or the other demands on my time, or both, because I feel like I've been racing at a breakneck speed through my days, and I don't think I want it to be like this all the time.
I don't have any reason to think it's going to keep up at that pace -- January was unusual for the organization, and it took us all by surprise -- but if it does, I'm going to have to rethink my involvement or the other demands on my time, or both, because I feel like I've been racing at a breakneck speed through my days, and I don't think I want it to be like this all the time.
