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(no subject)
Jan. 18th, 2013 10:38 amI'm having a cranky kind of day. Tell me about something wonderful you've seen someone do for someone else recently!
Summautumn
Sep. 10th, 2012 09:29 pmWe're in that shoulder season now, where summer isn't totally over, but we're into late summer and early fall. Yesterday, walking with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eestiplika, we smelled wood smoke and felt the cool in the air despite the sun, but we also admired squash blossoms. Today, early fall is full-on, and tonight, especially, the air is crisp and almost tastes of apple.
For dinner, comfort foods and comfort people and music that makes feelings bigger without changing them. I made a drink with bourbon, allspice, and orange, and it was perfect. We drank it in cut crystal cocktail glasses inherited from my mom's family, fancier than I usually use.
I feel peaceful and nostalgic and replete and lonely, all in the best way. I long for summer and I long for autumn, one wistful and one anticipatory, both a delight. Life is so full.
eestiplika, we smelled wood smoke and felt the cool in the air despite the sun, but we also admired squash blossoms. Today, early fall is full-on, and tonight, especially, the air is crisp and almost tastes of apple.For dinner, comfort foods and comfort people and music that makes feelings bigger without changing them. I made a drink with bourbon, allspice, and orange, and it was perfect. We drank it in cut crystal cocktail glasses inherited from my mom's family, fancier than I usually use.
I feel peaceful and nostalgic and replete and lonely, all in the best way. I long for summer and I long for autumn, one wistful and one anticipatory, both a delight. Life is so full.
(no subject)
Jul. 15th, 2012 09:47 amI really wish today were kind of cool and rainy, which would perfectly suit my desire to sit on the couch and watch movies all day.
I mean, I'm likely to sit on the couch and watch movies all day, anyway, but cool and rain would really improve the experience.
I mean, I'm likely to sit on the couch and watch movies all day, anyway, but cool and rain would really improve the experience.
boom de yada
Oct. 14th, 2011 10:42 amI am in a friggin' fantastic mood today. Tell me something great!
lines of summer
Apr. 21st, 2011 10:04 amAlthough you can't see it, now that I'm back from California (and Southern California specifically), my feet have sandal tan lines. I love sandal tan lines.
depart, return
Apr. 18th, 2011 09:57 amIn another window, I have a long, excited post about Coachella partly written.
In this window, I'm kind of mopey and sad. As my long visit in California comes to a close, I'm both yearning to stay here longer, and eager to get home and find a job and sleep in my own room and, of course, see my friends and loves who I haven't seen in so long.
Transitions. They're sneaky little fuckers, aren't they?
In this window, I'm kind of mopey and sad. As my long visit in California comes to a close, I'm both yearning to stay here longer, and eager to get home and find a job and sleep in my own room and, of course, see my friends and loves who I haven't seen in so long.
Transitions. They're sneaky little fuckers, aren't they?
(no subject)
Apr. 27th, 2009 10:14 amI don't think of myself as someone whose moods are strongly influenced by the weather, but weekends like this past one represent a pretty big reality check on that. I am deliriously happy, and while I did a whole lot of wonderful things over the weekend, with a whole lot of wonderful people, the languorous pleasure suffusing my limbs is not merely due to picnics, gossip, and good company. Damn, but that sun feels good.
First thing Saturday, I put all of my bedding out on the clothesline for a good airing out, and left my featherbed out there until yesterday afternoon. I did laundry and dried it all on the line in the sun, so when I got into bed last night after reassembling it, I was surrounded by happy fresh summer sheet smell and a light, freshening breeze slipping through my windows.
Today is just as gorgeous, and I cannot for the life of me think of why I'm not playing hooky and eating seafood and sipping margaritas in the sun by the water this afternoon.
First thing Saturday, I put all of my bedding out on the clothesline for a good airing out, and left my featherbed out there until yesterday afternoon. I did laundry and dried it all on the line in the sun, so when I got into bed last night after reassembling it, I was surrounded by happy fresh summer sheet smell and a light, freshening breeze slipping through my windows.
Today is just as gorgeous, and I cannot for the life of me think of why I'm not playing hooky and eating seafood and sipping margaritas in the sun by the water this afternoon.
Help me cheer up! Nothing is as cheery-making as focusing on the things I think are awesome about the people around me. Would you like to hear something I think is awesome about you? Comment below (comments screened) and I'll tell you.
(no subject)
Apr. 11th, 2008 12:14 amToday was much better than yesterday. Among other things, I...
... had a useful meeting with my opponent about our thoughts for how to handle our "debate" in Monday's class;
... walked around town, smiling involuntarily at people who were smiling involuntarily at me, utterly enraptured by the sunshine;
... ate the best salad I've had in months, in the sun, while catching up on big stuff;
... got a sunburn;
... nearly finished the paper due on Monday and came to the realization that I will probably manage to get everything done that I need to do before the end of the term;
... drank my favorite gin;
... ate a duck egg (thank youlyonesse!!!);
... laughed a lot;
... with some of my absolute favorite people;
... made my streak a new color.
It was a good day.
... had a useful meeting with my opponent about our thoughts for how to handle our "debate" in Monday's class;
... walked around town, smiling involuntarily at people who were smiling involuntarily at me, utterly enraptured by the sunshine;
... ate the best salad I've had in months, in the sun, while catching up on big stuff;
... got a sunburn;
... nearly finished the paper due on Monday and came to the realization that I will probably manage to get everything done that I need to do before the end of the term;
... drank my favorite gin;
... ate a duck egg (thank you
lyonesse!!!);... laughed a lot;
... with some of my absolute favorite people;
... made my streak a new color.
It was a good day.
The wise piece of insight I got today was this: Sometimes, there are things that frustrate you and that you can't do anything about and not being able to do anything about them bothers you. And that's okay.
I get it intellectually, but emotionally? I think this is a big project. To that end, ( here's a list of things that bum me out )
I get it intellectually, but emotionally? I think this is a big project. To that end, ( here's a list of things that bum me out )
I feel good. Like, rich and full of goodness. But in a curiously nostalgic way.
The theme of this trip home feels related to community, longevity, and cycles. I've seen many people who I haven't seen in many years, but who have known me since I was a baby, and it makes me want to know the babies of my friends when they're adults and out in the world doing interesting things. I have a great community in Boston, but I'm continually thinking about where I'm going next. But this trip is making me think that I should consider more seriously what I have already built where I am, and how meaningful it is to me to have the connections I have. Even in the bay area, I would be doing a lot of starting anew to move there now, especially compared to Boston.
Tonight, we had dinner at the home of friends of the family who had their first date at my parents' house when I was a toddler, and whose kids my brother babysat and are now traveling the world, and saw people I haven't seen in ages and ages, and had great food and entertaining conversation and just generally felt really good. I love that, and how I feel in the midst of it, and as part of it, that I'm contributing to it, too, not just feeding off it, and it's just great. It makes me want to create (or continue creating) my own traditions, to build (or keep building) a community that connects hundreds of people to each other. But not in one big, amorphous clump so much as in lots of little overlapping circles.
Tonight, I saw people who I haven't seen in 15 years or more, because our families are friendly but not friends, and it was such a pleasure to see them, even though they're not in my day-to-day thoughts, but just... it's good to know they're out in the world, doing whatever it is that they're doing.
Jackson Hole is a weird place right now, deep in transition from old time ranching hippie town to destination resort. Land is wicked expensive, and what was here last week may or may not be tomorrow, so the sense of continuity I have from the people is so meaningful to me. And it sure makes the value of community and continuity clear.
The theme of this trip home feels related to community, longevity, and cycles. I've seen many people who I haven't seen in many years, but who have known me since I was a baby, and it makes me want to know the babies of my friends when they're adults and out in the world doing interesting things. I have a great community in Boston, but I'm continually thinking about where I'm going next. But this trip is making me think that I should consider more seriously what I have already built where I am, and how meaningful it is to me to have the connections I have. Even in the bay area, I would be doing a lot of starting anew to move there now, especially compared to Boston.
Tonight, we had dinner at the home of friends of the family who had their first date at my parents' house when I was a toddler, and whose kids my brother babysat and are now traveling the world, and saw people I haven't seen in ages and ages, and had great food and entertaining conversation and just generally felt really good. I love that, and how I feel in the midst of it, and as part of it, that I'm contributing to it, too, not just feeding off it, and it's just great. It makes me want to create (or continue creating) my own traditions, to build (or keep building) a community that connects hundreds of people to each other. But not in one big, amorphous clump so much as in lots of little overlapping circles.
Tonight, I saw people who I haven't seen in 15 years or more, because our families are friendly but not friends, and it was such a pleasure to see them, even though they're not in my day-to-day thoughts, but just... it's good to know they're out in the world, doing whatever it is that they're doing.
Jackson Hole is a weird place right now, deep in transition from old time ranching hippie town to destination resort. Land is wicked expensive, and what was here last week may or may not be tomorrow, so the sense of continuity I have from the people is so meaningful to me. And it sure makes the value of community and continuity clear.
I just had a really really nice vacation.
Then I had a couple of totally relaxing days at home, including a snow day, which is among life's best little surprises.
Then I have a two day work week (!), a date withshayde, and then a crafty weekend with razil, plus cooking by Scott and probably lobsters!
I'm going to Guatemala in the fall.
I'm learning to knit, which I've been wanting to do forever, I'm learning all sorts of other fabulous crafts.
My life is full of fabulous people, lots of love and warmth, time to myself and time with them...
I have the best life ever!
Then I had a couple of totally relaxing days at home, including a snow day, which is among life's best little surprises.
Then I have a two day work week (!), a date with
shayde, and then a crafty weekend with razil, plus cooking by Scott and probably lobsters!I'm going to Guatemala in the fall.
I'm learning to knit, which I've been wanting to do forever, I'm learning all sorts of other fabulous crafts.
My life is full of fabulous people, lots of love and warmth, time to myself and time with them...
I have the best life ever!
middle o the night
Jan. 27th, 2003 12:08 amI hate these "I'm-in-bed-but-not-sleeping, feeling grumpy" things. Most annoying. Right now I'm kinda doing that "what am I doing with my life" spiral, feeling like I'm pouring myself down the drain with nothing long-lasting, deeply-fulfilling, which is silly because day-to-day, I'm happy, I think. But apparently there's something not filling up.
I think a lot of it has to do with discontent at the job, and discontent with myself for not shaking it up and really buckling down to look for a new one. I let inertia roll me over and over, and it's true that the job isn't downright AWFUL, so it doesn't usually inspire me to run out and look for something new, except on those days when it IS awful.
Part of me wants to put everything I own in storage and run off to Guatemala or Peru and just be crazy for a few months. I admire Kristin for basically having done that. I think about all the stuff I'd have to do to get to that point: deal with STUFF -- storage, selling, etc, figure out apartmentstuff for my place in the current apartment, sort out relationships and what this would mean for them... and it just seems like it's not worth it to go traipsing off into the wilds only to come back here to a total unknown -- where to live, where to work, what to do with life -- pretty much the same problems I'm having now, but postponed.
On the other hand, maybe I could talk to Dan and see if he's inclined to do something like that. He would be a good companion for that kind of event, and he's not too settled. I could make him drive out here and get all my stuff, throw it in the back of his truck and run off for a few months. Crazy.
I'm not very good at stepping outside of myself and doing things that aren't "me", and I kinda feel like it's "me" that's the problem, so what I need to do is get out of that. Tough to figure out.
I think a lot of it has to do with discontent at the job, and discontent with myself for not shaking it up and really buckling down to look for a new one. I let inertia roll me over and over, and it's true that the job isn't downright AWFUL, so it doesn't usually inspire me to run out and look for something new, except on those days when it IS awful.
Part of me wants to put everything I own in storage and run off to Guatemala or Peru and just be crazy for a few months. I admire Kristin for basically having done that. I think about all the stuff I'd have to do to get to that point: deal with STUFF -- storage, selling, etc, figure out apartmentstuff for my place in the current apartment, sort out relationships and what this would mean for them... and it just seems like it's not worth it to go traipsing off into the wilds only to come back here to a total unknown -- where to live, where to work, what to do with life -- pretty much the same problems I'm having now, but postponed.
On the other hand, maybe I could talk to Dan and see if he's inclined to do something like that. He would be a good companion for that kind of event, and he's not too settled. I could make him drive out here and get all my stuff, throw it in the back of his truck and run off for a few months. Crazy.
I'm not very good at stepping outside of myself and doing things that aren't "me", and I kinda feel like it's "me" that's the problem, so what I need to do is get out of that. Tough to figure out.
Sleeping Weather
Jan. 21st, 2003 09:36 amMan. Talk about good sleeping weather last night! I didn't even have to open my window; with the heat turned off in my room, the drafty porch doors did the trick. I even added a couple of extra layers on top of my comforter, and I was snug as a bug in a rug. The only kicker was having to get out of bed this morning. BRRRR! What I need is a houseboy or girl who will come into my room at 6AM and turn on the radiator. That would be perfect.
I woke up this morning with this feeling of, "Huh. Is this my life? I've been waiting so long to be an adult, and here it is, and isn't there supposed to be more to it?" Somehow, I'm worried that I'll wake up in another 26 years still living in an apartment, working at a mediocre job, still partnered to people who are married to someone else... and the feeling that engenders was more dissatisfaction/anxiety than I would have expected, given that, as far as I know, I really AM happy with my life. It's just not what I want forever, and I see so many people around me getting married, buying houses, having kids... never mind that of those, only one is something I want, but there's something to be said for feeling really settled. I have such a transitory life, it seems like I could pick up and move to Alaska and it would just be a little ripple in the pond.
I dunno. Maybe I should make some major dramatic change to shake things up. I'm risk averse, and pretty comfortable in my current surroundings, and, it seems, that may be bogging me down.
I woke up this morning with this feeling of, "Huh. Is this my life? I've been waiting so long to be an adult, and here it is, and isn't there supposed to be more to it?" Somehow, I'm worried that I'll wake up in another 26 years still living in an apartment, working at a mediocre job, still partnered to people who are married to someone else... and the feeling that engenders was more dissatisfaction/anxiety than I would have expected, given that, as far as I know, I really AM happy with my life. It's just not what I want forever, and I see so many people around me getting married, buying houses, having kids... never mind that of those, only one is something I want, but there's something to be said for feeling really settled. I have such a transitory life, it seems like I could pick up and move to Alaska and it would just be a little ripple in the pond.
I dunno. Maybe I should make some major dramatic change to shake things up. I'm risk averse, and pretty comfortable in my current surroundings, and, it seems, that may be bogging me down.
the magic of cold
Aug. 15th, 2002 10:42 amI love priceline.
For several summers, now, I've joked about renting a hotel room towards the end of a really hot spell, for relief and a good night's sleep. With last night's forecast temp over 70, after a day around 100, I knew my bedroom would be unbearable for sleep, so I bid on priceline for a cheap hotel room. Much to my surprise, I got a 3 star room for $50!
So I called Aileen and invited her to join me, and, amazingly enough, she didn't have plans! (We've missed each other a lot this summer because we've both been so busy, so it's a minor miracle that with a few hours' notice, our schedules meshed.)
The University Park Hotel at MIT was quite nice, perfectly frigid, and the sheets were lovely and soft. They had Aveda toiletries, which I took when we left this morning, of course.
This is even better than having a/c at home, 'cause it was like a little mini vacation for the night. What a treat! And with priceline and splitting the cost between the two of us, it cost less than a moderately fancy dinner. I'm in SUCH a good mood.
For several summers, now, I've joked about renting a hotel room towards the end of a really hot spell, for relief and a good night's sleep. With last night's forecast temp over 70, after a day around 100, I knew my bedroom would be unbearable for sleep, so I bid on priceline for a cheap hotel room. Much to my surprise, I got a 3 star room for $50!
So I called Aileen and invited her to join me, and, amazingly enough, she didn't have plans! (We've missed each other a lot this summer because we've both been so busy, so it's a minor miracle that with a few hours' notice, our schedules meshed.)
The University Park Hotel at MIT was quite nice, perfectly frigid, and the sheets were lovely and soft. They had Aveda toiletries, which I took when we left this morning, of course.
This is even better than having a/c at home, 'cause it was like a little mini vacation for the night. What a treat! And with priceline and splitting the cost between the two of us, it cost less than a moderately fancy dinner. I'm in SUCH a good mood.
falling in love
Aug. 8th, 2002 10:20 amThis week has been a week of falling in love weather. Especially Tuesday, which was sunny and warm with a cool breeze, dry, gorgeous. That's the kind of day where the weather is so breathtakingly wonderful that it makes me fall in love with everything around me, and I swear that if any of the weird guys who've been trying to pick me up in recent months had hit it on Tuesday, I might've taken them up on it, just 'cause the day made me feel so good about everything. Lucky for me, none of them did :)
I feel like I've been in a pretty good mood since landing the new apartment, but a conversation the other night with Dave suggests otherwise, and I've been thinking a lot about mood, and internal vs. external. I tend to think of myself as someone who's pretty open with her feelings, but enough people have said otherwise that I guess I'm not, or that one has to know me fairly well, or be attuned to subtleties to pick it up. I dunno.
Anyway, here I am in a pretty good mood, but surrounded, on at least some sides, by people who... well, let's just say that they're not all in similarly good moods. And I'm finding that I'm very easily impacted by their moods. So when someone starts to be cranky and I'm nearby, even if per isn't being cranky at me, I start to slide down into a bad mood. I'm now going on the theory that being aware of this will stop it, and I've decided that I'm in a good mood, and I'm going to stay that way, thankyouverymuch.
Reasons I have to be in a bad mood:
* I have to pack and move by the end of the month
* R'ship stuff is complicated
Reasons I have to be in a good mood:
* I have a beautiful new apartment waiting for me
* I'm seeing Cirque du Soleil this weekend
* I'm having dim sum this weekend
* I have a couple of crushes, and crushes are fun
* Autumn is just around the corner
* Dan might come visit me at the end of the month!
* Still not pregnant (hey, it's the little things)
Never let it be said that I'm anything but a glass-half-full kind of person. Later, I'll go wandering and see if I can't fall in love with some lucky stranger..
I feel like I've been in a pretty good mood since landing the new apartment, but a conversation the other night with Dave suggests otherwise, and I've been thinking a lot about mood, and internal vs. external. I tend to think of myself as someone who's pretty open with her feelings, but enough people have said otherwise that I guess I'm not, or that one has to know me fairly well, or be attuned to subtleties to pick it up. I dunno.
Anyway, here I am in a pretty good mood, but surrounded, on at least some sides, by people who... well, let's just say that they're not all in similarly good moods. And I'm finding that I'm very easily impacted by their moods. So when someone starts to be cranky and I'm nearby, even if per isn't being cranky at me, I start to slide down into a bad mood. I'm now going on the theory that being aware of this will stop it, and I've decided that I'm in a good mood, and I'm going to stay that way, thankyouverymuch.
Reasons I have to be in a bad mood:
* I have to pack and move by the end of the month
* R'ship stuff is complicated
Reasons I have to be in a good mood:
* I have a beautiful new apartment waiting for me
* I'm seeing Cirque du Soleil this weekend
* I'm having dim sum this weekend
* I have a couple of crushes, and crushes are fun
* Autumn is just around the corner
* Dan might come visit me at the end of the month!
* Still not pregnant (hey, it's the little things)
Never let it be said that I'm anything but a glass-half-full kind of person. Later, I'll go wandering and see if I can't fall in love with some lucky stranger..
