1. "I'm sorry BUT..." (as in "I'm sorry BUT here's why what I did wasn't so bad" or "I'm sorry BUT I think you are overreacting")
2. "I'm sorry IF..." (as in "I'm sorry if I hurt you").
That second one is particularly pernicious because it means that the apologizer is not actually taking responsibility for his or her actions. It defeats the purpose of step 2 by failing to acknowledge that one has, in fact, done something worth apologizing for.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-08 06:26 pm (UTC)Two common failures on this one are:
1. "I'm sorry BUT..." (as in "I'm sorry BUT here's why what I did wasn't so bad" or "I'm sorry BUT I think you are overreacting")
2. "I'm sorry IF..." (as in "I'm sorry if I hurt you").
That second one is particularly pernicious because it means that the apologizer is not actually taking responsibility for his or her actions. It defeats the purpose of step 2 by failing to acknowledge that one has, in fact, done something worth apologizing for.