As posted in the confessional, I found out I have HSV1 a year and change ago. When I first found out, I disclosed to everyone, posted about in my livejournal, made sure to tell everyone I'd kissed recently, etc. The general response was, "Yeah, so what?" One or two people thanked me for telling them and assured me it wasn't a big deal, most people were like "why are you even telling me this?" So, for a year or so I stopped disclosing, and due to the vagaries of my schedule, I mostly just dated the partner in question and didn't smooch anyone else.
Recently, starting to get out there again, I revisited this in myself, and seeing a friends post about their struggles with HSV2 and how betrayed they felt that the person who gave it to them didn't disclose, I started to feel funny about it, and guilty, and yeah, I know HSV2 is not HSV1, but still.
So, now, I disclose. Because it seems like The Right Thing to Do(tm). From the other responses here, and elsewhere, it's clear that there are strongly divergent opinions on this. In my case, I'm still figuring out what an outbreak feels like. I think it's the tiny little sore spots I get at the corner of my lips that I always thought were just chapped lips. But since I do not get obvious cold sores, I'm not entirely sure when I can transmit, so it feels unethical to not disclose before kissing someone, and I most assuredly would disclose before giving oral sex. Maybe fewer people will kiss me because of this. I sure hope not, but if that's the case, at least I will know that those who choose to kiss me (or ahem) are doing so with full knowledge of the health risks.
There is a rare condition called eczema herpeticum that apparently can be dangerous when you add HSV1 to the mix. You don't know what someone's health situation is, and there are some cases where HSV1 may not be a big deal in your life, but can cause complications in the other person's life. There may well be other situations where HSV1 could be a more serious problem for the other person than I am aware of, so I don't have the right to make that choice for someone else, methinks.
Like one of the repliers, I am trying to handle this by making it well known so that the people around me know what the deal is and can make their choices without too much awkwardness around the topic, but meh, given a choice, I'll disclose to be sure. Maybe make a cute button to wear to play parties, dunno.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2011-02-19 12:58 pm (UTC)Recently, starting to get out there again, I revisited this in myself, and seeing a friends post about their struggles with HSV2 and how betrayed they felt that the person who gave it to them didn't disclose, I started to feel funny about it, and guilty, and yeah, I know HSV2 is not HSV1, but still.
So, now, I disclose. Because it seems like The Right Thing to Do(tm). From the other responses here, and elsewhere, it's clear that there are strongly divergent opinions on this. In my case, I'm still figuring out what an outbreak feels like. I think it's the tiny little sore spots I get at the corner of my lips that I always thought were just chapped lips. But since I do not get obvious cold sores, I'm not entirely sure when I can transmit, so it feels unethical to not disclose before kissing someone, and I most assuredly would disclose before giving oral sex. Maybe fewer people will kiss me because of this. I sure hope not, but if that's the case, at least I will know that those who choose to kiss me (or ahem) are doing so with full knowledge of the health risks.
There is a rare condition called eczema herpeticum that apparently can be dangerous when you add HSV1 to the mix. You don't know what someone's health situation is, and there are some cases where HSV1 may not be a big deal in your life, but can cause complications in the other person's life. There may well be other situations where HSV1 could be a more serious problem for the other person than I am aware of, so I don't have the right to make that choice for someone else, methinks.
Like one of the repliers, I am trying to handle this by making it well known so that the people around me know what the deal is and can make their choices without too much awkwardness around the topic, but meh, given a choice, I'll disclose to be sure. Maybe make a cute button to wear to play parties, dunno.