that was less fun than chewing a box of rocks

[aroraborealis]

crayolathief and I had a nice dinner at the Burren (my first time there!), which, beah take note, included some VERY delicious fries. Afterwards, the evening was so nice, I wanted to walk around a bit. We missed the big thunderstorm that looked like it was heading farther north, so it was a bit breezy and cool, very fresh.

I like this time of year on the bike path, because there's so much green and growing, and it's more peaceful than walking along the streets, so we walked from Davis out to Cedar St and then back, and stopped to chat on one of the playground benches at the Lexington park a few doors down from my house.

We'd been there for, what, maybe 15 or 20 minutes, when a group of 6 or so teenagers, both boys and girls, showed up. Now, I hate to sound like I group teenagers into one, unruly, unpleasant mob, but the fact is, i kind of do. I didn't really like teenagers when I was one, and so far as I can tell, they haven't improved. It's not a good time of life for most people.


One of the boys came to the gate near where we were sitting and announced that the park was closed and we'd have to leave. Naturally, I didn't believe a) that the park was closed or b) that he was in any position of authority, so I inquired as to who he was to ask us to move on, and whether he had ID. No ID, stunningly enough, but he kept pestering us to talk to him until we just took to ignoring him.

At that point, he laid off, and crayolathief wanted to leave. Now, that probably would have been the smart thing to do, but as some of you know, I'm somewhat contrary from time to time, and I didn't want to let him "win" by leaving right away. Okay, so that's stupid. Looking at this sort of interaction as a win/lose is a surefire way to get into fights and end up unhappy in an emergency room, but I didn't feel particularly threatened (the kid's friends were uninterested in joining his little intimidation campaign, and, in fact, tried to get him to lay off once or twice), and, well, I was cranky.

Anyway, he wandered off (but stayed in the park), and we stuck around. We were distracted, of course, and talked about not very much, most of it around how uncomfortable we were. After a few minutes, i said I was okay leaving, but that really the night was nice and I was okay with staying, too. We stayed, and then, of course, our young friend had to make another sally. He came back to the gate (still keeping the fence between him and us) and asked where we were from. We tried a variety of conversational avoidance techniques, from, "Why do you ask?" and "That's not your business," to jokes that he missed and asking him about himself. Finally, he ended up approaching the table.

This is when things got actually tense rather than just annoying, because he was definitely looming (with intent), and although he had that assholish smirk that I recognize all too well from my high school years that's intended to show how cool he is as a front for showing off to his friends, I didn't trust that he would manage to keep his cool. We continued to try to avoid his questions, then we gave in and answered, and I tried to ask him about himself, to which he responded that it was an "interview" not a conversation. This went on for a couple of minutes, and then crayolathief made the wise executive decision to get up and go. So we left.

Our friend asserted that the neighborhood was safe because of him, yadda yadda. Clearly all show, but definitely not fun. It makes me cranky. Even though I know that this was your typical teenage stunt, probably showing off for his friends, probably playing out some of his own local identification (he was clearly local) and whatever tensions might be coming out of that, probably other stuff that I don't know about.

But because I'm not as smart as I should be, I really want to take a group of friends and camp out there every night for the rest of the summer. Luckily, I'm smart enough not to actually do that.

Comments

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

But because I'm not as smart as I should be, I really want to take a group of friends and camp out there every night for the rest of the summer.

Oh, boy, do I understand that.

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

If you weren't in a delicate condition, I'd invite you along ;)

(kidding!)

BTW, I love that icon; it makes me chuckle inwardly every time I see it!

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Hooray! I love *that* icon in return.

And, DELICATE, MY ASS! I just LOOM better, now! :)

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Oooh, looming!

*swoons*

[rapha.livejournal.com]

included some VERY delicious fries

oh great, now I want Tater Tots at 1045pm THANKS

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Blame beah.

[beah.livejournal.com]

0:-)

[wolfkitn.livejournal.com]

oh, there she is, sweet and innocent, AS USUAL. *sigh* :)

[wolfkitn.livejournal.com]

tee hee :)

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose you're willing to talk to a few cities officials tomorrow, are you? The Som. Police are trying to keep track of these sorts of violent and veiled threat activities going on. A couple summers ago it got pretty bad with a group of teen agers attacking people on the bike bath with a tire-iron on several occasions.

Also, our alderman-at-large, Denise Provost, is particularly sensitive to the local/new-comer tension. She wrote a really nice piece reminding us that the reason these tensions are coming up now is that the rising costs of housing are forcing people to move. And that the rising cost of housing in Somerville is, in part, because of people who are moving here being priced out of other areas, etc. and wondering where and how it will end. I think you would like her a lot (she's good and lefty) and she would like to hear from you about this event.

I'm uppity about it, in part, because while you felt safe enough to stay, somebody else might not have. Or also because it's gotten a lot worse as the summer progressed in the past. And because I *am* sensitive to the kids who feel like they will never be able to afford to live in the neighborhood they're growing up in, and at the same time I think violence towards and intimidation of young women on the streets and playgrounds will rather make people *less* sympathetic, rather than help the cause in any way.

Anyway, I'm glad you're okay, and that he *was* just posing. And I'm glad you stood up to him.

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

The piece she wrote, that I think you will like is here.

[sarahshevett.livejournal.com]

Uh, sounds like hanging out in a public park after dark to me.
If you don't want to encounter other people you might not like, I'd say stay out of those areas.
Taking friends out to camp out? Is this really that big of a deal to you? Sounds like you are giving this pest a lot of power in your life.
Yuo stayed so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of having him have power over you and the result was that he now has power over you.
If you had left it would have been over and you might have had a more pleasant evening?

"We were distracted, of course, and talked about not very much, most of it around how uncomfortable we were."
And is this his fault, or yours?

Then you want to become the police?

It's his park as much as it is yours.

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry your experience of public parks after dark has been unfriendly. My experience of them, in the past, has been that everyone using them has been able to share them, just as they do during the daytime. That's what it means to me for it to be his park as much as mine, and mine as much as his.

[(Anonymous)]

I never said anything about unfriendly ? I didn't even say anything negative.
It does sound like that is just what was going on, you were sharing the park with someone else; but you just didn't like the other person, or his "demeaner" or that he was a "teenager".
If you have never been approached by someone who has made you uncomfortable, you need to get out more often! Or, if this bothers you this much, like I said, avoid the places where it might happen.
The world if full of all sorts of people, some aren't very nice. I think either you learn or decide to deal with that or learn how to avoid "people that make you uncomfortable" and only go to places where you are "safe".


There is no "law" against someone talking to you in a public place, you know..

[dbang.livejournal.com]

You know, when someone bans you from posting in their LJ, it is usually a subtle hint that your comments are unwelcome. Circumventing it by posting anonymously is like staying at a party after the hosts have asked you to leave: beyond rude.

[dbang.livejournal.com]

There is no "law" against someone talking to you in a public place, you know..

There's a "law" of politeness which says that, if someone makes it clear they don't want to talk to you, you leave them alone, whether you are in a park or someone's journal.

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

I take it from your post that you currently live in the inner city and have a lot of personal experience in how to make that work from day to day?

[(Anonymous)]

I think either you learn or decide to deal with that or learn how to avoid "people that make you uncomfortable" and only go to places where you are "safe".

She did that. You came back, and posted anonymously.

Me and a tire iron, we'll teach you lesson about being properly polite and friendly in my friend's LJs.

[apostrophe-girl.livejournal.com]

friends' LJs

Err

[mr-privacy.livejournal.com]

I hate to be the one to correct you, but Ms. Shevett has commented in one friend's LJ. That she might put comments in friends' LJs is merely hypothecation on your part, and your job, seemingly, is apostriphication, not hypothication.

bzzzt

[apostrophe-girl.livejournal.com]

Then it would be "friend's LJ", which is also fine, not "friend's LJs". Unless your friend has multiple LJs, which she doesn't.

Re: bzzzt

[hidn.livejournal.com]

Once again! Idle theorizing. All the best sort of people have several LJs.

Re: Err

[apostrophe-girl.livejournal.com]

And for your information, de-apostrofication is a much larger part of my job than apostrophication.

Re: Err

[mr-privacy.livejournal.com]

So then, you 'ave a collection o' the things, do you?

Where do ya get 'em?

Re: Err

[apostrophe-girl.livejournal.com]

Costco. But I mostly don't need to re-stock, I have a surplus. Wa'nt som'e?

[(Anonymous)]

This does explain, however, your interest in "intentional gated communities.."
Pick your neighbors; you don't want to deal with anything unpleasant now, do you.

[dbang.livejournal.com]

And if she'd gotten beaten up, or worse, by an after-dark park pest, that would be her fault, too?

At what point does the responsibility transfer from the recipient of abuse to the giver? If ever, in your world?

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

This is a really understandable response, but it also makes me think you've never been harassed. In my experience, there's a reasonably clear dividing line between "This is someone who I think in the abstract I might not like or who makes me nervous" and "This is someone who is consciously trying to challenge my space and make me afraid of them". The reaction you're having sounds much more appropriate to the first case. I happen to know that aroraborealis has a fair bit of experience with strangers approaching her, so I think we can trust her judgment when she says that it was it, in fact, the latter case.

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

It occurs to me that you may simply not have the context or experience to understand the situation. Many cities which have a wide disparity in income within a small neighborhood, which experience rapid increases in property values, and, particularly, which have a college or colleges near-by, come to experience a fair amount of "Town and Gown" hostility. The reality is that families that have lived in Somerville for their whole lives are moving on, not necessarily by choice, and there is a great deal of "Save Somerville, Kill a Yuppie" graffiti in and around that park. In past summers this sort of posturing and intimidation has turned quite violent.

In order to keep public parks public-- to make sure they do not become turf occupied by one gang or another, it is necessary to stand up to people who try to intimidate you out of public spaces, early, before the area is too dangerous to be in at night at all. These were kids. They were doing what kids do- trying on roles and postures to see what works and what fits. It's critical that they see that the game of "chase away the yuppie," does not work, and is not likely to be a way to gain a feeling of power.

It's small acts like Rosa's that keep the city a civilized place to live.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

And, in off-topic news, I so wish I had a "demeaner."

I would use it on SO many people.

[(Anonymous)]

I'll be meaner for you any day. Just ask. :)

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

sigh* I feel like I'm on IRC all over again :/

Regarding the actual content of your post... Bleck. I'm glad you're OK. I agree with miss_chance, the cops probably would want to know that such stuff was happening.

Now, to get back to work on my demeaner raygun, with optional desmellier and desmarmier settings

[beah.livejournal.com]

I don't know, if you used the desmarmier setting on the folks I've met who need it most, you run the risk of being left with personality-less humanoid blobs...

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

And that would be....ummm...worse? At least those might make good end tables.

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Once you get those rayguns going, I'll buy one of each!

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

I'll give 'em to you for free if you let me be an official member of your goon squad!

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Do you have a trench coat?

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

Two of them, in fact - one black wool and another khaki London-Fog-type with removable lining. So I'm good to go in any weather. I've also got really cool sunglasses - great for intimidation. And a ski mask and OJ Simpson-style leather gloves for more clandestine operations. I am, unfortunately, short a baseball bat - could I substitute with lead pipe?

I will, however, have to work on not giggling. :)

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

You're in!

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

w00t! *giggle* Damn!

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

[wolfkitn.livejournal.com]

I will, however, have to work on not giggling. :)

*nods vigorously, brandishing a feather behind her back*

Hi

[snoway.livejournal.com]

Oh my, you got quite the response here didn't ya. To the orginal topic, I too get that sorta uneasy feeling around a group of teenagers, and too would have wanted to stay but after a few pleasants remarks being tossed around and getting no results I would have pulled out my handy cell and said "lets call the cops and see when this park actually closes" (I never knew parks closed) hopefully they would have then meandered on there way. Then you have every reason to stay and have a lovely chat with mister policeman..hehehe, also making it known to them that this is happenning in the park.

Re: Hi

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Yes, clearly, in retrospect, calling the police in the moment would have been the right thing to do. I didn't think it warranted a 911 call, though, and I didn't know the main police phone number (which I have now programmed into my phone). Looking back, I think I should have called 911 -- they probably get less relevant calls that that on a not-infrequent basis.

Anyway, for the future, I don't think I'll be visiting that park alone at night, but I won't avoid it when I'm with friends, either.