Rosa, an instruction manual

[aroraborealis]

Although I have a fairly long fuse in most cases, and with most people, there are, of course, some behaviors that can skip right over the length of it and light it about two inches from where it ignites. (Some people can do this, too, but less, these days.) One of these behaviors is when a person acts as though I don't know things that I think should be obvious to any reasonably smart and attentive person. I know that in the current case, the reason for this attitude is that the person in question doesn't KNOW what a reasonably bright person might know, because, well, she's not one, and these things were probably a major revelation to her. This, you may not be surprised to know, does not endear her to me.

It would be one thing if she had a clear attitude of, "I'm communicating at my top level, and the people with whom I'm communicating can keep up." Even if her top level were well behind mine, I could respect her stance and probably wouldn't find her (as) annoying. But the fact that she seems to think that I need little parentheticals to help me understand what it means for something to have endured (it lasted) or made a difference (it matters)... That means she's communicating at her top level AND she thinks I need help keeping up.

What's worse, in this case, is that it's in a business context, and it's not just me to whom she's attempting to talk down. In fact, the group to which this communication was addressed is extremely sharp. This, in turn, makes me embarrassed for Miss Down-Talk, because it's obvious that she's in over her head in communicating with us, and she doesn't even realize it. But that doesn't make me like her or her behavior any more than I already do(n't).

Comments

[psongster.livejournal.com]

I really sympathize with you on this one. My blood can boil when someone assumes I'm thinking in a simplistic manner ... and it feels like that happens a lot.

[rapha.livejournal.com]

Could maybe either agree with her, or correct her if/when she faulters? If it doesn't clue her in that you know what you are/she is already talking about, at least it can give you some satisfaction to keep putting her in her place.

[rapha.livejournal.com]

And by "agree with her" I mean, *nod* and interupt and keep finishing her sentences to show that yes, you alreay know what she is talking about.

[dpolicar]

I indulge in this a lot when the occassion arises, but I find it singularly unproductive... the sorts of people who will talk down to me will basically respond to my "yes, yes, I know, move on!" signals by slowing down and making sure I really understand the subtle nuance of what they're saying.

[dilletante.livejournal.com]

if your business relationship is close enough for you to be embarassed for her, can you take her aside and prevail on her to stop doing this thing for the sake of not embarassing the both of you? there's probably a tactful way to say "these people are pretty sharp and probably don't need the parenthetical explanations."

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Heh. It's not so much that we have a close business relationship as that it's extremely easy for me to feel embarrassed on someone's behalf. I have a very overdeveloped sense of propriety in some settings.

She and I only met for the first time in the context of a meeting (where this interaction took place) on Friday.

[lcohen]

i think (using my brain) that this (this thing right here) would get on my nerves (those frayed things sending signals) really quickly (that is to say, fast).