(no subject)

[aroraborealis]

This post by dpolicar inspires me to ask:

If you were designing a sex ed class, what would you include as information essential for teens to come away from your course knowing? Assume your class will be taught in a school that doesn't get its funding from the feds :)

Comments

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

The girls boarding school I went to used "Our Bodies , Our Selves" as the text book. I'm not sure what the current edition is like, but that was pretty damn thurough for the late '70's and early '80's

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I think my first goal would be to get rid of misinformation, and then add in things I suppose kids might not learn elsewhere.

Off the top of my head, I'd want to:

* answer all of the basic anatomical questions: what's where, what the parts do, et cetera
* cover different birth control methods and how to get them
* teach about STDs
* make sure to work in that sex is fun, not evil
* mention masturbation. Yay masturbation! I'd have to word it differently.
* note that neither experience nor virginity are all they're cracked up to be, and that you should never make the decision to have sex or not based on what other people will think of you
* have some anonymous q&a forum

[catya.livejournal.com]

i think she covered it.

[dot_fennel]

note that neither experience nor virginity are all they're cracked up to be

This is excellent.

[missionista.livejournal.com]

That oral sex *is* sex, dammit! I hear from a lot of people, Oh it's just oral, it doesn't count. There seems to be a perception that it isn't sex unless there is a penis and a vagina involved. THAT MAKES ME CRAZY!

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah.

[dancingwolfgrrl.livejournal.com]

Things beyond anatomy/what goes where that I think are crucial:
- a non-heterocentric curriculum (who likes being marginalized? I'm pretty sure I got the "some people are gay" stuff, but I'm also pretty sure no one ever talked with me in any detail about sex between same-sex partners)
- relatedly, treating piv as one kind of sex, not THE kind.
- ideally, a curriculum which is inclusive not only of various sexual preferences but also of various gender identities.

In a "this is information to help you make informed choices" kind of way:
- loads of information about safer sex (I was appalled when I learned all the things my very liberal school district didn't teach me. Specifically, information about tests, methods of transmission, and ways to reduce risk.)
- loads of information about birth control (I think "there are these seven methods" is useful, but "and here are some possible good and bad things about each" is even more useful. I also feel strongly that men and women both need this information.)

- a sex-positive attitude by way of generating a "this is a fun thing that I do for myself" attitude that seems like the reasonable insurance against peer pressure and any number of kinds of bad decisions.
- a body-positive attitude (by way of counteracting all kinds of "your body is bad"/"x kinds of bodies are bad" messages)
- information about places to get free or cheap and anonymous birth control and tests.

Oh, and a personal pet peeve: someone needs to point out to more people at a younger age that most women don't come from piv alone!

[water-childe.livejournal.com]

I'd want to talk about the myths that 'guys always want sex' and 'women shouldn't have stronger desire then a guy or it means their a sex maniac'. People have different levels of desire and it really doesn't have a whole lot to do with what sort of bio-parts you've got. Desire shouldn't be a 'contest' and less desire for sex shouldn't be used as a reason to make someone feel guilty or ashamed. Various level of desire for sex can be problematic but can be manageable, if both partners are willing to talk about it and not assign blame.

[istemi.livejournal.com]

I'd equip students with the knowledge they need for their adult sex lives-- before, during, and after marriage-- not just teen years. People can find the information on their own later, and might be exposed to it in college, but this is the only time where you can make sure the information is presented. Keeping teens ignorant sets them up to have problems after they turn 18.

[ceo]

My UU sex ed class used Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, which is from the publishers of Our Bodies, Ourselves. The class also featured X-rated filmstrips. The class was called "About Your Sexuality"; it's since been revised and updated into a set of curricula for several age groups including adults, called "Our Whole Lives".

[agaran.livejournal.com]

Yes. OWL is taught in Unitarian Universalist "religious" education classes to all ages, beginning with K, going through 12. It generall rocks, though it's not perfect. The curriculum was developed with the UUA and the UCC (United Church of Christ). I want my sons in it, and they will be, soon.

[dbang.livejournal.com]

I took AYS as well, and found it quite thorough and informative.

And yet...and yet...it was still two more years before I figured out that "sleeping together" was JUST a euphemism. Up until that point, I know it meant "having sex" but I thought that sex involved the man inserting his penis in the woman's vagina and then the couple would go to sleep; sometime during the night he'd ejaculate and the usual conception process would proceed.

[fraterrisus]

if at all possible, break it up into two parts. spend half the year (a guy can dream) covering the physical stuff, and half covering the mental side.

• mechanics: parts and functions. what is an erection, what is semen made of, what is menstruation, how does ovulation work.
• sex: what is it? common methods (important baseline information for the prevention part)
• STDs: causes, transmission paths, symptoms, effects, testing.
• pregnancy: cause, body changes, birthing process (including different methods/options)
• prevention: options, availability. why withdrawl is stupid.

• body attitudes: your body is not dirty. drug/alcohol abuse stuff?
• sex attitudes: how people react. don't be pressured. masturbation is not dirty. love vs lust.
• orientation: the many ways in which someone can be 'queer'. different is not bad.
• gender: male, female, other? i bet you could have a really fascinating conversation with teenagers about the space inbetween.

i should also mention for the record that i had a fabulous sex ed program when i was in high school. it was so outstanding that i went to Town Meeting to defend it against budget cuts when i was 16.

[dpolicar]

So, I think previous commenters covered it nicely, but I think working through an answer from scratch would be an interesting exercise so I'm going to do that.

* Nuts and bolts (no pun intended) of normal genital biology: erection, pre-ejaculate, ejaculation, recovery periods, engorgement, natural lubrication, relevant muscles, disease vectors, impotence, pregnancy, birth control mechanisms, that sort of thing.
Not that they'll actually remember this stuff, any more than they'll remember what prokaryotes and eukaryotes are after freshman bio, but to give some sense of familiarity to all of that semimysterious equipment.
In my ideal world, this culminates in a practical exam... "OK, here are some naked people. Class, gather 'round... who can point out the clitoris for me?" I suspect that, federal funding notwithstanding, I couldn't actually do this in the real world.

* Associated pragmatics for the above. Eg, "there's a vaginal muscle _here_ that does _this_, and if it's not relaxed penetration is difficult and painful => yay, foreplay!"... "pre-ejaculate has a high sperm count, so you can get pregnant from heavy petting => don't be stupid"... "lubrication takes some time to build up and without it penetration is difficult and painful => yay, foreplay", etc.

* Psychological nuts and bolts (sunny-day, first/second-person):
Lust, pair-bonding, territoriality, dominance, vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear in general, post-coital euphoria, post-coital depression, etc.
From a curriculum perspective, I'd approach this through fiction. Read excerpts from erotica, romance novels, that sort of thing, have kids point out examples of various things, contrast idealized treatments with realistic ones, contrast different but equally realistic treatments to avoid the sense that there's one right way to feel. If people ask "Why would anyone feel like _that_?" and later get answers, I'd feel like I'd done my job here.
As with the biology, the goal is primarily a sense of familiarity, and the idea that if you're feeling something related to sex, that feeling really exists and you can name it and talk to people about it and even look it up if you're so inclined.
This is _especially_ true of the feelings surrounding choosing to have sex or not (both for virgins and nonvirgins) and subsequent feelings about the relationship.

* Pragmatics associated with the above: if you're feeling like this, here's some things you can do, and here's what will probably happen if you do them.
This probably involves some remedial work on starting and ending relationships and on making and responding to requests. Ideally, we'd be working on that stuff since age 2 so the sex component could be "Sex is a thing about which requests get made, just like your bicycle is, and the same basic rules apply, here are some special cases." But in the real world, people suck at this, so the remedial work is needed.

Incidentally, I separate pragmatics out like this because I think it's important. The reality (of your biology, your feelings, etc.) is what it is, but what you _do_ about it is your choice. They are completely different types of statements about the world and it's important not to get them confused. "Teacher said lots of people feel like X after sex" is one thing, "Teacher said I should do X after sex" is a different thing. (Nothing wrong with either, but they're different.)

(continued in next comment)

[dpolicar]

* Emotional nuts and bolts (sunny-day, third-person): Like the above, but concentrating on people other than the players. "Parents frequently feel like this about their children becoming sexually active." "People frequently feel like this when their friends have sexual partners and they don't." "Sometimes people you like end up dating people you can't stand, and here's what that can be like.", and associated pragmatics.

* Abnormal/non-sunny-day biology and psychology, overview. Sexual abuse and coersion, different sexualities, kinks and fetishes, etc. Not getting into the nuts and bolts here, but just "Here's a bunch of things most people don't experience but some do. Some are harmless, some are dangerous, some are criminal, some are socially disapproved of, these categories overlap.

* Erogenous zones. Not just the basic "where's waldo" info, though that too, but "nervous systems are heavily crosswired => you can get sexual arousal from lots of different kinds of sensory input all over your body, and that's a completely natural biological function". Relatedly, some grasp of the difference between erogenous zones and fetishes.

* Pregnancy, abortion, miscarraige, childbirth, childraising, adoption, birth defects, effects of various chemicals on fetuses, parental finances, time-and-motion studies.
The goal here is to make sure everyone is really thinking about what getting pregnant can mean and not just sticking their fingers in their ears going "la la la!" about it.
This is a case where I'd settle for just scaring them off the idea if I had to... I'm not a "Just say no" type in general but I can get behind "Just say no to teen pregnancy!" when it comes down to it.

* Birth control. Not just the biology (covered earlier) but an emphasis on "Having sex and having a baby are related but different decisions, here are some ways you can do one without doing the other." Nonvaginal sex, prophylactics, et al.

* Individual counseling. No, not what you're thinking. More a "A lot of people have questions and concerns they'd rather not make public, so part of this class is individual sessions... if I can answer your questions I will, if not I'll arrange for a specialist to answer them."

I'll stop now. In a constrained-resource environment, I probably focus on a bare-bones version of the related biology and psychology (basically focused on avoiding disease, accidental pregnancy, unnecessary discomfort, and coerced sex), pregnancy, an overview of the more popular minority positions (mostly gay/bi folks), and a quick round of "here's what your parents are going through."

I'd take that class!

[dbang.livejournal.com]

Good luck with that.

I took a senior-level psych course on human sexuality that didn't cover that much detail!!!

But seriously I think you run the risk of overwhelming kids. Some of them will still be on "if I touch that little thing down there I get all wet, what's going on?" while you are onto dealing with erectile dysfunction and feminist theory. :-)

Re: I'd take that class!

[dpolicar]

Well, a lot depends on level of detail. I mean, I took a freshman bio course in high school that "covered" in six months the same material as an undergraduate MIT bio degree, for some value of "covered".

For example, it's one thing to spend half an hour saying "Hey, some folks are gay and here's kinda what that's about", it's another thing to spend several months exploring the spectrum of sexuality and genetic vs cultural components and identity vs. behavior and so forth. A serious discussion of erectile dysfunction could take months, but "Hey, sometimes you can't get it up, that might mean something's wrong but it probably just means you're nervous" can probably be covered in less than ten minutes. Etc.

Also, much of this really has little to do with sex and could be covered in other courses... eg, the disease and pregnancy subsets are, in my world, a subset of a general health curriculum, the childraising stuff is part of a home-ec curriculum (along with household maintenance and budgets and stuff like that), and the relationship/request-management stuff is part of a broader communications skills curriculum.

But even so, yes, you're likely right... there's a lot of stuff here, and if emphasis is allocated the way I'd want it to be there's no room left for most of it. So it's probably just as well that I don't design curricula... :-)

[xthread.livejournal.com]

Brief caveat - anal sex has a much higher risk of pregnancy than people expect - they think it falls in the same category as oral sex, and it doesn't. So be careful about the use of the phrase 'nonvaginal sex.'

[drwex]

buh?? New to me. 'splain please?

[xthread.livejournal.com]

Apparently couples who use anal sex as their primary contraception strategy have a scary failure rate - from one article on the subject:

However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as a method of birth control have babies each year.

8% is a really big number

[drwex]

It is remarkably high. It also implies they're having (I believe the euphemism is) bareback anal sex. Aside from the "ow!" factor, what's the disease risk for that?

[navrins]

You should include this video (or something like it) in your hypothetical class. (It was made by the folks I've been editing for.) It's under 2 minutes long and includes sounds you might not want co-workers hearing coming from your computer.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b5mp2sU9TU4

[muffyjo]

This might be a good class for adults!

I went to a fairly liberal boarding school and much of the biological anatomy mentioned in your "* Nuts and bolts (no pun intended)" and "* Associated pragmatics for the above." were covered (believe it or not) but mostly for the female side alone with some brief touches (metaphorically intended) on the male anatomy and how it might interact/react. I have to say, I still get a kick out of discovering the things they didn't mention and I think the other topics you discuss would be VERY valuable. I think it would have to be a two semester topic and that while it would be more appropriate for a pre-teen/teen audience, it would be more accepted by a college-aged and older one.

[agaran.livejournal.com]

That PIV ain't all there is, that handjobs are fun, that oral is fun, that masturbation is fine, that mutual masturbation is fine.

But Molly and the others who got here first really covered it.

[chenoameg.livejournal.com]

I had a decent sex ed class in my private high school (it did, for example, cover the different forms of birth control & their pluses/minuses), but something that I'm astonished they didn't cover is the stuff in Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

The two things that I was most astonished the class hadn't covered (Female cervical discharge changes throughout the month, some women can feel when they ovulate.)

I'll toss in my opposition to some of the other suggestions and say I don't think that the hows of sex are appropriate in a high school setting. There's already a weird dynamic between classmates and between students and teachers; there's no appropriate way to handle the dynamic. I think you're better off providing a framework for the information and resources on how they can learn more.

But aside from that I mostly agree with everything else said.

Beyond that I think that sex ed should not be discussed without o discussing relationships; sex complicates relationships and that's an important thing address. Not that there's anything wrong with sex, but that sex is not the same thing as a relationship, and vice versa.

[kjc.livejournal.com]

Wow. There's more stuff here than I actually KNOW.

So I'll stick with the personal thing - herpes. As a young adult, I had no idea that the blister on my lip was viral and could be given to someone else via mouth-to-mouth AND mouth-to-genital contact. (I've gotten lip blisters since I was 4 or 5 years old). Ergo it took me a while to understand the need for condoms/dental dams no matter what (so, disease transmission beyond genital STDs was mighty unclear to me).

Traditionally, Type I herpes is oral and Type II is genital. Truth is, 80% of oral is Type I and the other 20% is Type II. And 80% of genital is Type II and the other 20% is Type I. There's a LOT of crossover.

Also, there is a tremendous amount of support for people with genital herpes and NO support whatsoever for people with oral. Makes it hard for those of us who get a LOT of oral blisters and have non-infected partners. And the fact that carriers shed virus (i.e. are contagious) on average 1 day in 20 without symptoms (so you don't know you're shedding; it can also be much more often) is only JUST starting to penetrate the public consciousness (c.f. Valtrex commercials).

[rmd.livejournal.com]

for teens, the essentials are things covered by "changing bodies changing lives".

also, some work on negotiation issues -- help them be able to use their knowledge to say "yes" or "no" or "yes but only if you do this".

types of birth control and their risks (like "don't rely on the pill if you're on antibiotics") and limitations (like what kinds of condoms don't match with what kinds of lube).

also, "here are things that may happen with your private bits that may relate to your health". not just VD-related stuff, but also things like "hey, girls, if you have menstrual weirdness like this, get to a doctor!!"