pet peeves #442 (restaurant edition)

[aroraborealis]

"Are you still working on that?"

No. No, I'm not. When I'm dining out, I'm almost never working, and if I am, what I'm working on is not the food, but rather the pile of papers next to my plate. If it's work for me to eat the food you've served me, you can be sure that even if I'm still hungry, I will let you take the plate. If, however, it's acceptably good, I am not working on it.

What I hate about this is that it turns the enjoyment of a meal into a mechanical process, and somehow it always feels like there's some implication of a duty on my part to keep slogging away until I'm good and done.

I've yet to come up with a satisfactory response to this question that indicates in a friendly way that the question is all wrong while also conveying the information the server wants.

Preferred approaches include: "Are you still enjoying your meal?" or "Have you finished enjoying your meal?" That's obviously the best, but also acceptable are: "Can I clear this for you or are you still dining?" or "Have you finished eating?"

Comments

[dbang.livejournal.com]

I like simply "Shall I take your plate?".

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I prefer 'dining' to 'enjoying' -- it presumes less, and 'enjoying' sounds a little patronizing, to me. I'm with you on 'working', though!

[fenicedautun.livejournal.com]

"I hope not, because I can get fired for drinking on the job!"
(I've never actually tried this, but somebody at work said they had.)

[miss-chance.livejournal.com]

Personally, I enjoy to turn to the server with my absolute dumb-animal stare and ask "working??" The follow-up is usually "shall I clear this?"

Thinking about it, I think I know why that phrase comes up. It's okay for Americans to work. Work is noble, honorable, self-defining, etc. It's what we do. "Eating" on the otherhand is shameful. It has to do with the body, bodily functions, and pleasure. Asking a patron if they're eating would be like asking the server where you can go shit. You have to pretend you're going to "bathe," or "rest," or just be a "woman/man" to find out where you can shit, piss, deficate, urinate, eliminate etc.

It's supposed to be embarassing and bad to be eating. Women particularly, especially large women, don't want to be accused of eating, or worse yet of "still" eating. It's too much like "What, FATSO! are you still shoveling food into your MOUTH?!" No, no, I'm not eating, I would never Eat, how dare you accuse me of EATING, I'm just working. Yes, that's it, it's my job and my duty to consume this meal, so I'm WORKING.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

On a related peeve: I am always annoyed with servers who automatically assume that the bill will be paid by the male at the table.

[nminusone.livejournal.com]

"[It's so good] it hardly feels like work. Does it really look like eating it is a chore?"

On the other hand I can sympathize with the waitstaff as they are probably trained to do it exactly that way and no other, so I'd be reluctant to get up their nose about it.

[crayolathief.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that when a waiter curses my plate by asking if I'm through with it, I never touch it again. Even when I'm aware of the curse I can't seem to break it.