life advice?

[aroraborealis]

As I've commented, I love reading graduation speeches, because it's so interesting to hear what advice people give to people just starting out on adulthood. Even though I've been an adult (by some definition of it) for about a decade now, I still learn a lot from this sort of thing.

What nugget of advice would you give to people on their way through life? Would it be different for recent graduates or others? How?

Comments

[wotw]

1) Immerse yourself in something you love.

2) Do not seek success in areas you're not passionate about. You'll
always be competing with people who *are* passionate, and you can't
possibly outcompete them.

3) For the most part, the way you're going to know you're doing
something socially useful is that somebody's going to be willing to
pay you to do it.

4) The big choice is between self-absorption and engagement with
the world---the narcissistic pursuit of self-knowledge versus the
desire to understand and improve the world around you. And if you
choose the latter, then not only will you be more materially
successful than your more inward-directed friends, but paradoxically
you'll also get closer than they will to that self-knowledge they're
so assiduously seeking. Because self-knowledge is a lot like
happiness: It comes most readily as a by-product from the pursuit
of something greater.

5) Extraordinary rewards accrue only to those with something
extraordinary to offer. You can't succeed by imitating the
successes of others; if those successes were easy to imitate then
everyone would imitate them and they'd gather no rewards.
Instead, try looking around you. Identify needs nobody else has
identified, or think of solutions nobody else has thought of,
or find genuinely new ways to help people understand that your
solutions are worth adopting.

6) Memorize this quote from Horace Mann and make it your byword:
"In the middle of the last century, a great dispute arose among
astronomers, respecting one of the planets. Some, in their folly,
commenced a war of words, and wrote hot books against each other;
others, in their wisdom, improved their telescopes and soon
settled the question forever."

7) Thank your parents.

8) Don't go to law school.

[kcatalyst.livejournal.com]

As usual, I think wotw is brilliant, except for his thinking about money. As usual, this makes me fear for the world at large. Special cheers for the bit about seeking self-knowledge. Or rather, not.

I'll also add: be lyrical when you're happy and pragmatic when things go wrong. It may lead to shitty lyrics, but it's much more effective life-wise.

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

I clicked into this post all ready to write "Know Thyself" and then wotw's post made me question. I still think that's important, but I think he might be right.

I will however amend his #7 to add: "Thank your parents for what they did right. Forgive them for what they did wrong. And once you become an adult, stop taking their shit."

I might also suggest: Don't carry your former selves with you at all times. Don't forget them, but don't carry them either.

[wotw]

Amendment heartily accepted and endorsed.

[blivious.livejournal.com]

Overcome your fears.

[beah.livejournal.com]

It matters. Whatever you're doing, the things you care about, the choices you make every moment about words and actions and inactions, everything matters. Don't for one second let yourself believe that it doesn't, but don't let that paralyze you, either. Just live like you mean it, because it matters.

[a-kosmos.livejournal.com]

It's fine to make plans but don't become a slave to them.

Beware of things that are too routine and convenient; they might also suck out your soul.

Connecting with people is as important as getting things done.

Don't give up "silly" because you think you're a grown up.

[dancingwolfgrrl.livejournal.com]

I thought of two pieces of advice that have been useful to me, both of which come from other people who are older and wiser than I am!

My high school flute teacher told me to do one lovely thing for myself every day, however small.

And then, when I was twenty, I met a woman who had just turned fifty who, for reasons still unbeknownst to me, decided to tell me the two things she wished she had known when she was my age. Of the two, the one that has been most important to me has been "Don't spend your core energy nurturing other people." I imagine this isn't a problem for everyone, but if it applies to you, it's a really good thing to remember. (The other, for the curious, was that when you hurt yourself or get sick when you're young and the doctor says to rest for two weeks, you should rest for two weeks, even if you feel fine after one, because otherwise your body saves it all up for when you're fifty :->)

[wotw]

One more: Remember always that how we spend our days is how we
spend our lives.

That's a quote from Annie Dillard. It's a good one to post next
to your computer screen, or your TV set, or whatever is your
favorite medium of procrastination.

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

I *heart* Annie Dillard, and that quote is among my favorites.

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

This quote has been ringing around in my head since I read it two days ago. Thanks.

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

I'd give them the same speech John Boyd (http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/jrboyd.htm) used to give, about the career fork in the road.

...Boyd would tell them that a day would come when "you're going to have to make a decision about which direction you want to go." Then he would point his hand to the left or right.

"If you go that way, you can be somebody. You will have to make compromises and you will have to turn your back on your friends. But you will be a member of the club and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments.

"Or," he said, pointing in the other direction, "you can go that way and you can do something -- something for your country and for your Air Force and for yourself. If you decide you want to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get good assignments, and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won't have to compromise yourself."

Even Boyd was talking about the military, I think it's good advice in general.

[jacflash.livejournal.com]

Nothing matters. It's just dancing energy. Stop taking yourself so seriously, because if you look closely enough, you'll find that there's no self to take.

Now, go play.

[trom.livejournal.com]

Life is too short to drink bad booze....

[beah.livejournal.com]

A lesson that meant a lot to me going into college: "People are important, paper isn't." I think I would've figured that out for myself eventually, but having it almost literally painted on my forehead (it was on the inside of my fraternity bandana) helped me remember.

[fenicedautun.livejournal.com]

I almost didn't post, because wotw was so very eloquent (and useful), but I absolutely adore Sondheim, so I'll quote

"witches can be right
giants can be good
you decide what's right
you decide what's good"

And "no one is alone", not you, not them, not the people you see on the news. Everything you do affects somebody, and they affect others. And even the psychopathic killer may have a mother weeping for her son.

[rdhdsnippet.livejournal.com]

I daresay wotw would not complain about Sondheim quotation. :o)

[rdhdsnippet.livejournal.com]

Not much in life matters... decide what does and concentrate on it.

YOU matter to more people than you realize, especially the young and the old. Be kind to them.