Sorry, that's classified

[aroraborealis]

When meeting someone new, one of the most common points to discuss is what you do for a living. But what if the person you're talking to has a job that's classified? I'm thinking about trying this out to see what sorts of questions people come up with.

What are some good, interesting, offbeat questions that are still okay to ask relative strangers?

Comments

[randysmith]

Boring questions, but:
Where'd you grow up?
Do you have children?
Hobbies?
What do you think of (random not simple left/right political question)?

[sconstant.livejournal.com]

You could ask them, "What are some good, interesting, offbeat questions that are still okay to ask relative strangers?"

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

Hmph :)

[totient]

I had a job doing classified things. But the fact of who I worked for, and the general field I worked in, wasn't. If it had been, how could I cash my paychecks or subscribe to professional publications? Even someone whose general field is direct espionage (rather than say electrical engineering in support of espionage as in my case) still has to be able to exist in society, which means their job will have an element they can tell mortgage brokers and dates about.

I put my clearances on my resume. I told my then girlfriend's kid brother I made my living as a spy. That was a gross oversimplification, but he was 12 and it worked for him. The classified part is not that James Bond has gadgets to play with, but how they work.

[aroraborealis.livejournal.com]

I think you missed my actual point :)

[totient]

Well, yeah. An interesting point: in DC, politics and money are on the table as topics of conversation in a way that they very much are not in Boston. I wonder if the number of people who can't talk about their work has anything to do with that.

[beah.livejournal.com]

"Huh. How does having a classified job affect you? Are there things you could do before it that you miss? Or cool perks?"

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

I hate the standard meet-someone interview. My preference is to work off of something I can see in them. Do they have an interesting accent? Wearing some funky clothes? Nice jewelry? Funky hair color? Or they might reveal a jumping-off point early on in what they say -- most people do. There's usually something, in any case. Or talk about the location, if you have something interesting to say about that. If you're meeting online, work off their profile.

But basically, I think it's important to not come off like you're only talking to the person because you're bored and want someone to talk to, because that makes me want to slap you and end the conversation very quickly, not that I've had this experience often and repeately or anything.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

After the dotcom crash, so many of the people I met were unemployed that I switched entirely to asking "What sorts of things do you do?" That seems to give some people (usually the ones who have a job that is close to the totality of the answer) pause, but most people seem to enjoy it as a chance to talk about whatever they're interested in, rather than simply what they do to pay bills.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

I like asking about hobbies when giving job interviews. It gives me the chance to see what someone looks like when they talk about something they enjoy and know a fair amount about. I think the same applies for meeting someone new in a relatively uninteresting context -- if the context is interesting, you can just ask about that!

If it's a situation where you can ask relatively complicated questions without having to slyly work them into the conversation or anything, a question like "what's the stupidest plan you've ever had that turned out to be a great idea?" or "what's your favorite movie that you don't want to admit to liking?" might work.

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

I've found asking people about books they've read and what they thought about them is a good question to ask. So is talk about the more popular movies, or sports.

[dbang.livejournal.com]

My small-talk openers are usually situation-focused.

If I'm at a party, a political event, a park, or an adult class, I'll ask somebody what prompted them to come to that thing.

I also like to use people's apparel as a launch point: that's a great scarf, where did you get that?

none of that is offbeat. I wonder if it is even possible to be both offbeat and inoffensive enough for small talk with strangers. I think my goal is to stay ONbeat until we've established some common ground.

[maebeth.livejournal.com]

I'm interested in people's _calling_ or _vocation_, which may or may not be there job, but many people either interpret that as a religous question, or don't have a clue.

So I've taken to
"How do you fill your days?"
or "What do you do for fun or money?"
"what is keeping you busy lately?

[redjo.livejournal.com]

I'm terrible at small talk. If I'm interested in the person, I usually get pretty quickly to "So, what's your passion in life?" With that phrasing it could be their job, their art, their family, whatever it is that they're passionate about (and probably most want to discuss).

[cos]

I don't usually get to what you do for a living until the other person brings it up. I ask about places, people, music, travel, social context... "how do you know [person who we just met through]?" "where are you from?" "what's [foo] like over there?" etc. Not very offbeat, just ways to get to know someone and bring out what they think is interesting related to things that I think are interesting. Usually I'm looking for stories, whatever the topic - stories about people or places or experiences from their life, or things we share.

[veek.livejournal.com]

"What're you reading these days?" is my favorite. Granted, there's a chance that the person will be embarrassed (or annoyed) and say they don't read, but honestly, I haven't met any of those in my social circles. :)

The last time someone asked *me* that question was at a conference of mostly librarians. We were standing in a little circle, myself, another young woman, and two older women (60s?). THAT was fun.

[nminusone.livejournal.com]

One book I read suggested that talking about concrete and visible things that aren't too personal is a good, non-threatening way to get started. After they see you're not an axe murderer, then you can work up to offbeat. Not that I actually follow this advice. ;)

A guy I met suggested "How much is too much to pay for a pair of jeans?" Not too offbeat but I saw him use it and it worked pretty well!

Two of my faves are: "If you didn't know, how old would you think you are?" and "How did you get this way?"