(no subject)

[aroraborealis]

[Poll #1766378]

Comments

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

both, i guess.

[debsquared.livejournal.com]

"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

yes

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

embrace the power of and.

[veek.livejournal.com]

Life happens to me too, of course. But even then, I transform that whether I want to or not, via my reaction to it.

[blk]

Between those two choices, I would choose the latter.

If it were more of a FITB, I would probably say "I move through life," since "happening" to it feels like I should have more kinds of of impact or control than I think I do. But my pattern is more than I see what is there and I take it and I make it work for me, ideally in fluid, happy and agile-seeming ways.

[ectropy.livejournal.com]

At least, that's what I'm trying for.

Although on second thought, I've got to say I'm doing pretty well in that regard.

[jacflash.livejournal.com]

Does blue happen to sky, or does sky happen to blue?

[lifecollage.livejournal.com]

I agree with other commenters that really, both are true. However, I used to only believe the first answer, so I choose the second in recognition of how much healthier my brain space is now.

Both

[taura-g.livejournal.com]

Life happens to me but what I do with it happens to life.

Re: Both

[harimad.livejournal.com]

This is a good representation of my thoughts as well.

Since I was forced to choose I chose option B - because I would like that to be the more accurate of the two.

[gentlescholar.livejournal.com]

I have always erred on the side of believing I was powerless to affect the world. I'm moving toward a middle position these days.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

It seems on the face of it like "I happen to life" should be the Right Choice, since it's the most active and full of agency, and we do love people who are active and full of agency, while "life happens to me" is the statement of a chronic victim and we do dislike chronic victimhood. But I believe there is a place where you can come out the other side of "I happen to life" and be more at peace.

If "I happen to life", then everything is my choice and my fault. Get into an argument with my boss? I DID THAT. Fall off a bus? I DID THAT. Can't seem to keep my partner from being depressed and drinking too much? I DID THAT. This gets extremely tiring and wastes a lot of energy.

On the other hand, if "life happens to me", then that allows me to be doing my thing in my corner, and you to be doing your thing in your corner, and both of us to be rolling with the punches. I'm happening, you're happening, we're all happening to each other all the time, and the measure of a person in the world is not where they place the blame for a bad thing, but what they do afterwards to make it better.

So: life happens to me, but that's no excuse for me to stop doing my thing when I get dealt some lemons.

[fanw.livejournal.com]

I agree the dichotomy leaves too much implied "rightness" in the second answer.

My reply? "I ride life"

And in my mind life is more my steed than a rollercoaster. I guide where it goes but I get bonus points for acquiescing to its basic needs of love, nourishment, and not running it too hard.

[dancingwolfgrrl.livejournal.com]

I am really, really aware of the extent to which my ability to be Little Miss Internal Locus of Control has to do with me being someone who is wildly privileged in the world. Most of the things I'm not willing to pin down to personal responsibility are things that are big and terrible -- cancer, racism, poverty -- and they are not huge forces in my life due entirely to things that happened to me and were beyond my control.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

I think that "both" is more true for most folks than they'd like to admit. I also think that the former is more true of my life since having a baby 3 weeks ago.

[regyt.livejournal.com]

Deja vu!

I've been trying really, really hard to hold onto my zen this past month and just let life happen to me. It's hard for me. Really hard for me. My instinct is to be all tense and type A about everything.

[whynotkay.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of the poll differently than other seem to be interpreting it. Overall, I seem to be drifting through life rather than picking somewhere particular I'd like to get to and working towards that goal. It might be time to work on that again.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I'm actually pretty proud of how balanced those aspects are in my life. I have been lucky enough to have some great opportunities and choices, but I've also made the most of them and picked well.

[catya.livejournal.com]

Last year, life happened to me. This year, it's about a 50-50 shot. Next year, I expect to be back to my usual say 25-75 :)