aroraborealis

Oh, Maya Angelou, how I miss knowing you're in the world with me. At least your words are.

Still I Rise - Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

When I bought my first laptop, it was far and away my most expensive single purchase in my life to date -- almost $2000!. And so small and easy to steal.

Soon after purchasing it, I was catching a very early morning flight for a trip on which I was bringing my laptop, so I found myself walking to the T around 5am, when almost no one was around, and some of the people I passed were clearly coming home from a rowdy night. It made me tense and anxious in a way that walking around my neighborhood never had before: I felt so strongly aware of how much money I was carrying in the form of an easily stolen laptop. I also felt super aware of the lack of witnesses or friendly eyes if anything were to happen to me. I'd never felt such high alert!

Nothing particular out of the ordinary happened. I made it to the airport just fine and without incident. I used that laptop into the ground, replacing it 6 years later, and I took it on many trips with me: some to the local coffee shop, some to friends' houses, some on longer travels. I never again felt as anxious and high-alert as I did that morning. At this point, I've been carrying a laptop frequently for about 15 years, and it's still the single most expensive easily stolen object I own. But I don't really feel different when I carry it, in part because I've gotten used to having it with me.

The danger, whatever level, of course, is the same regardless of how safe I feel. But if I always feel unsafe, my behavior will probably change. Maybe I'll curtail my movements and make different choices about how to move through the world. Maybe I'll be more tentative going out at night; I might only stick to neighborhoods I know.

This is another part of the equation of the experience of gender in the world. Society hammers home that women are always at risk, so women make different choices. Women get to live in a smaller world or with higher anxiety (or both!) because of the ongoing messaging that we get about how the world isn't safe for us AND that if we get hurt as a result of disregarding these warnings, we'll be blamed for being stupid or naive.

The world is actually pretty safe, and there are big consequences to instilling in any group the message that the world is not safe FOR THEM. I'd like that to be part of the #yesallwomen conversation.

[Trigger warning: below is an email I just sent to someone who crossed my boundaries in an unhappy way at a recent party.]( Read more... )

These can be frustrating and disillusioning times for feminists and other people focused on social liberation and progressiveness in social issues across the board, but especially group and identity issues along the lines of sexism, racism, heterosexism, classism, straightism, etc. I see all of these issues as being tightly linked: they all take very similar shapes, and people who fall into more than one marked category feel the hit from each one.

Anyway, I've been super excited to see a couple of Ted talks in the past couple of years that are men talking about the importance of feminism, recognizing that feminism is a movement that seeks to improve society for all members*, not just women, despite the name. I've linked to Tony Porter's talk in the past, but it pairs so wonderfully with the more recent talk by Jackson Katz that I wanted to include both.

Porter really focuses on the damage the patriarchy does to boys and men, how constraining the notion of masculinity is, and how harmful.

Katz delves beautifully into some of the complexities of groupism and discusses some of the psychology and group training that causes men to tune out conversations that they perceive as "women's issues", acknowledges the way that men get more credit, attention, and acclaim than women, and gives a brief overview of what he calls the bystander approach, whereby members of the unmarked group (in this case, men) raise the bar of expectations for all members by not letting problematic comments slide. He sees this as an issue of leadership and frames it fantastically well.

All told, these videos will take about 30 minutes of your time to watch or listen to, and I think they're completely worth it. In fact, I've watched them both multiple times, and I normally time out after about 3 minutes. Please share them far and wide; I'd love to see them get some play outside of The Bubble.

Violence & Silence: Jackson Katz


A Call to Men: Tony Porter


*Recognizing, of course, that many branches of feminism don't go a great job of being inclusive across other categories like race, class, etc, but I do see a general trend of increasing awareness in lots of those branches, over time.

It's image day here at hydrodynamically captivating! Thanks to trom for pointing me to this one: