aroraborealis: (alone)
Thinking a lot about missing stairs, loving and compassionate confrontations about bad behavior, the difference between intent and impact.

I know we all fuck up in big and small ways. I ask you, my community, to keep me honest if you feel able, when I fuck up big.

This isn't your job and my actions are my responsibility, but I promise to listen with an open heart and take seriously what you say.

I don't promise to agree with you, but I do promise to consider your words sincerely and seriously and probably talk about it with other people close to me for perspective, reality check, and deeper understanding.

Further, I commit to doing this for you, if I feel able inside of our relationship. I deeply believe that loving you means seeing you with as clear eyes as possible, loving you with your faults and failures as much as loving you with your brilliance and goodness. Love that is blind to faults is necessarily fragile, and that's not what I want for you or for me.
aroraborealis: (tequila!)
I read MetaFilter and AskMetafilter with some regularity, so I also follow MetaTalk, where people talk about how the other sites work, how people interact with them, etc. Relationship questions are super common on AskMe, and they're sometimes interesting and sometimes appalling and sometimes frustrating ... much like people and relationships themselves. This morning, someone on MetaTalk complained about how some people use AskMe to ask more or less the same question again and again, never seeming to take in the advice or thoughts that they were ostensibly looking for in earlier questions. The first comment on that post is brilliant and funny, and I am copying it here for posterity, and to remind myself of this pattern when I'm playing the role of the OP and my friends are all tearing their hair out:
OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!"
Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!"
OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?"
Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!"
Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!"
Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!"
OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?"
Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned."
OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..."
Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!"
OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!"
Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches."
Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!""
"OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface."
**Goons1-20 piss in the well**
Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well."
aroraborealis: (Default)
A followup poll inspired by comments on the last one:

[Poll #1281932]
aroraborealis: (Default)
[Poll #1281908]
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