aroraborealis

I am in the middle of nowhere, NJ, or as close to the middle of nowhere as one can get within an hour of New York City, which isn't really very middle or nowhere, but I'm impressed at how remote it manages to feel nonetheless. I'm here with three of my best friends from college, plus a new addition, making up for the fact that we all, for various reasons, missed our 10 year reunion this spring. While waiting for my ride with Scott from Newark airport, another of my great college friends, my first year roommate, joined me to catch up and shoot the breeze for the first time in several years. It's great. These are good people, and I'm happy to be among them.

I took the train down to NYC this morning, and in my car was a group of 6 or 7 happily rowdy 60ish yo women, clearly taking a weekend away from their everyday lives. Over the course of the ride, they were extremely gregarious and chatty, and every few minutes, one of them would exclaim over how happy she was or how much she was already enjoying the weekend. Even when one of them lost her ticket, the conductor got in on the jolly act and there wasn't a bit of stress about it, so far as I could tell. (The ticket was eventually found.) Several times over the course of the ride, I thought to myself that I hope I'm still enjoying my life and my friends as much as these women when I reach their age.

As we disembarked at Penn Station, one of the women turned to me and apologized if they'd been a pain to have in the same car. I demurred, explaining how much I'd enjoyed their presence. She explained that they had all missed their 40th college reunion in the spring, and so they'd organized a special weekend this fall instead. I told her that I and my friends were doing the same, but for our 10th. "Well!" she said, delighted, "In 30 years, you can do it again and think of us!"

I certainly hope so.

As you all know, I love hearing graduation speeches. Commencement speeches are often among the best of a larger category, which is life-events speeches. The wedding I attended in August included one of the best I've heard. It's here, and I think I'm going to print it out and tape it to the inside of my medicine cabinet, it's so inspiring.

I love weddings. I love seeing what people do, the choices they make, how they choose to celebrate their commitment and what aspects of their past and future relationship they focus on.

I also hate weddings. I often find it depressing how normally creative and interesting people seem not to engage with the process of making the ritual their own.

The wedding I attended today was everything great about weddings. The brides were radiant, their families happy and participatory, the ritual was traditional enough to be meaningful and familiar while also being individual enough that the personalities involved and their unique strengths and interests shone. Not only that, but their words and the ceremony they created was inspiring and heartfelt.

So it was good.

In college, I had a very tight group of friends. Most of us lived in the same dorm our freshman year and became friends that way, though we had some add-ons from other entries and other years. I wouldn't say I had a best friend in this circle, and dynamics shifted around over the years, but one of the fairly steady subgroups was Kristin, Josh, Scott and myself. Kristin and Josh started dating mere minutes after arriving on campus, and Scott lived next door to Josh our first year. I don't think our foursome really clicked as a foursome until our second year, but as we were all skiers, that encouraged us to spend time together. (Okay, Kristin wasn't really a skier, yet, but she was dating a skier and so it was inevitable that she was on the road to ruin skiingness.)

For several years, the four of us took trips out west to ski in the winter. The first three trips, we went to Denver, stayed with Scott's folks, and skied in Summit County. The next year, we went to Alta, and the year after that, Whistler. I think these trips, and others that we did together, solidified our friendships (and our relationships with each others' families, where we were all welcomed like adopted kids into the families). When we graduated, we all moved to the Boston area. Now, I'm the only one of us left here, and I'm not as good about being in touch as I wish I were, but these are people who I think of as the kind of friends I could call up after not talking for 6 months and say, "Hey, I need your help," and have them move mountains to help me, which is pretty damn special.

Kristin and Josh finally got married a couple of years ago and moved to Philly. Scott finished his MBA at Sloan a year or so ago and moved to Seattle with his new girlfriend, Margot. I met Margot about a year and a half ago at dinner with Kristin and Josh in Philadelphia when Scott and Margot stopped by on their way to NYC from I-don't-remember-where. It was a fun dinner, made more so by the obvious good fit between Scott and Margot. Of all the men I knew in college, Scott was probably the one who was most clearly on track for marriage and kids (though not in a hurry) but had been thwarted in a number of his relationships in heading to that goal. Even in that brief dinner, it was glaringly obvious that Scott and Margot were in it for the long haul, and that they were thrilled with this fact.

( So this weekend, I went to Aspen for their wedding... )

All in all, it was such fun, and, besides, I do love mountain summer weather. I had the redeye back to Boston last night, arriving this morning slightly after 5am. I sprang for a cab and was in bed, delightedly, by 6am. I slept until about 10:30 and now all I have to do is stay awake until 10ish so as to keep my body clock from going completely haywire.